fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3014 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3014 ⌋

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So I read the thing upthread explaining it, (I am lesbian who didn't know this was a thing :/) and it seems like, for me at least, being a lesbian separatist would be nigh impossible because I don't really have the privilege of going "I will never work for a man!" I'm poor? I need to eat? I will take any job I can get. It seems like a kind of middle-class notion to me, idk.

Oh, it's totally steeped in privilege, just like a lot of radical feminist notions. It's shallow thinking, and it's usually super classist and racist.

And also, ironically, homophobic. It's not about real lesbians. Sure there's some overlap, but most of it is straight women who "choose" to be "lesbians" as part of the whole staying away from men objective.

I don't think it's really straight women who pretend to like other women. I think it's bisexual women who choose to only like women. I really don't think you can fake enjoying having sex with women.

Keep in mind that with bisexual erasure being a big deal--and even moreso in the seventies, when this actually mattered--that it'd be easy to believe you must be straight if you sometimes like dudes.

It's a weird situation, in a way, because I'm not sure if there's any way for us to really be able to know what was actually going on there.

Yeah, same.

Frankly it's a tricky sort of thing. In my work I encounter a lot of women showing up in archival material who I'm damn sure are gay or queer. However I'm very uncomfortable diagnosing them because who knows how they felt? All I know is how they look. I think other people would be a lot more cavalier with that.

I really don't think you can fake enjoying having sex with women.

Yes, you definitely can. I'm quite sure you can fake enjoy having sex with anyone if you're committed enough.

but can you fake it to yourself? if that's the only kind of sex you will ever have?

yeah that's what I was thinking.

ayrt
Yeah, tbh as a poorer, not white lesbian, I don't tend to feel very welcomed by a lot of lesbian communities. Not that I want to be a part of classist, racist, not to mention often transphobic and biphobic communities.

Pretty much, though I think for a lot of people it's more or less a thing said out of frustration sometimes. Or, as someone else said, more a case of limiting how many men you're around as opposed to cutting them out altogether.

Still pretty stupid either way.

Oh, I do have a degree of privilege in this area, no doubt, without the funds to go to school, funds provided my my mother's hard work, I would have neither the contacts nor the qualifications to be a picky as I am.

The thing is, it is absolutely a lifestyle choice, and choices come after needs. A homeless person cannot be a vegetarian, and if you don't have the money to avoid working for certain types of people then no-one will judge you for doing what you need to. but as a separatist you will find that the community can be a great help in finding ways to make it more tenable. Or maybe you won't. I admit I have been lucky. what I'm trying to say is that we make only the choices we can and deal with everything else as we need to.

[ SECRET POST #3014 ]

Re: Lesbian Separatists

Re: Lesbian Separatists

Re: Lesbian Separatists

I'm very skeptical of this.

Re: I'm very skeptical of this.

Re: I'm very skeptical of this.

Re: I'm very skeptical of this.

Re: I'm very skeptical of this.

Re: I'm very skeptical of this.

Re: Lesbian Separatists

Re: Lesbian Separatists

Re: Lesbian Separatists