[ SECRET POST #3014 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3014 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 130 secrets from Secret Submission Post #431.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[blitzwing]

Ever notice how the phrase "I have no filter" is always the precursor to someone saying something asshole-ish?

That's kind of an ironic statement to make given that "I have no filter" was actually the last statement in the comment I made, so it wasn't the precursor at all.

[diet_poison]

"Precursor" was not a good word choice but you are using it as justification, which I take it as basically what quirkytizzy meant.

[blitzwing]

There's a difference between a justification and an explanation. I can explain my behavior without defending it.

[(Anonymous)]

The consistency with which you do this shit is a strong argument that, at the very least, you don't see it as a problem.

Like, it's really hard to take you seriously when you consistently act like a dickhead and then when anyone criticizes you it's just "I have no filter! Also if you don't like me I'm just going to act flirtatious with you!" At a certain point, whatever the case, if you keep acting like a dickhead, and you show no desire to change that, and no awareness of the fact that you're begin a dickhead, people are going to just think you're a dickhead.

None of your behavior comes across as though you have even the slightest awareness that there might be something about your style of conversation that you even need to defend.

[(Anonymous)]

Just wait, they'll probably reply to you with a comment like "I love you too!~ ♥", or something completely smug and pendantic.

[blitzwing]

I'm not sure why you took that comment (I assume you're referring to this one http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/1192222.html?thread=827499806#cmt827499806) as smug or pedantic. I do like most of the people I communicate with on here. It's especially hard to dislike a nonny when they could be the same person you had a wonderful conversation with last week about intellectual property rights.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT but I can definitely say that it's almost impossible to read those comments as sincere, and that I've been reading them as... essentially the equivalent of a raised middle finger at someone criticizing you. As sarcastic, basically. Denying the validity of their criticisms and comments.

If you really mean those comments sincerely, then all I can do is apologize, but I'm pretty sure that like 95% of people on this comm are reading them as hostile. And, I mean, it feels like a pretty understandable reading, honestly.

[blitzwing]

They're a little sarcastic in that they're exaggerated (with the heart and all) but the sentiment is genuine. I don't dislike the airt, and I genuinely have feelings of warmth towards even those anons who criticize me or insult me.

I suppose even when it's genuine, though, it's a dismissive comment, because it boils it down to "well, you don't like me" instead of acknowledging the commented on flawed behavior.

[blitzwing]

The consistency with which you do this shit is a strong argument that, at the very least, you don't see it as a problem.

I know it's an ongoing problem with me. I did not realize it was happening so severely lately in this comm. The fact that multiple people keep saying that I've changed just shows to me that I can change and act in a way that is more acceptable to people, that I've been successful in the past. Trying just means that--that I try and will fail sometimes. It's a problem/behavior that creeps up on you.

Imagine instead of walking (assuming you are not a wheelchair user or something) automatically, without thinking, that you had to consciously move every muscle in your leg and back to make yourself take steps. That's what filtering is to me--to other people it's something they do automatically, with me it's something I have to do very consciously.

If you had to walk consciously you might forget a muscle sometimes and hit the ground. With me I forget to "apply X tact filter now" and find myself in a conversation where I've been rude or hurtful.

None of your behavior comes across as though you have even the slightest awareness that there might be something about your style of conversation that you even need to defend.

I'm aware of my issues. I don't think it's something that should be defended. Callouts are fine. It's simply something I need to keep working on. I'm going to try harder to engage more respectfully in this comm, and you can hold me accountable if I'm lacking tact.

[(Anonymous)]

Well fair's fair then. As long as it is something that you're aware of, there's not much else I can say to that.

[(Anonymous)]

Jesus. Ok, now I know you're pretty much trolling.