fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3021 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3021 ⌋

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Seconding quirkytizzy's advice above; I was going to suggest that you get a friend who understands your difficulties to either accompany you or literally walk you through it.

I can appreciate that finding a trusted friend when you're going through all this is tough, so maybe think about setting that sort of support system in place while you're not suffering an episode so you know you have that safety net in future. That way there won't be that huge amount of pressure to reach out when you're at your lowest, which I empathize is very difficult.

If you're still having trouble reaching out, then you might want to create your own set of mantras or reassurances when you're not feeling this bad. Record yourself telling yourself it's okay, to take one step, then another. Write instructions to yourself, reminding yourself that this is an episode, and it will pass. Having something tangible to focus on helps sometimes. So do any comfort items that can help ground you. Basically, build a toolkit for yourself while you're not having an episode that you can dip into when you are.

My (non-psychotic) mental health issues involve a lot of paranoia and, like you, the total lack of self-insight and self-judgement when these epsiodes are hitting hardest. To me, my reactions and fears seem completely realistic and possible, however unlikely they truly are, and even "unlikely" isn't reassuring enough sometimes when I can't even tolerate a 0.003% chance of something happening. Having someone else who's aware of what's going on with you helps a lot at times like that, because you can base your response off theirs (e.g. "this person isn't worried right now, so chances are there's nothing to worry about").

Challenging your thoughts can also be helpful. Rate how likely or logical something is on a scale (1-10, 1-100, A-F, whatever you're comfortable with) and reassess it as you go along. Sometimes it'll go up, and sometimes it'll go down, but the fact that you can see it fluctuating helps remind you that it's reacting to you and your frame of mind, and not anything external.

Look after yourself. -hugs-

OP

As currently I wouldn't trust a single person to help me or see me like this, I'll take it under advisement, but I'm not sure if it's something my situation is capable of supporting, or something I am capable of setting up. Like, I'd sooner walk around a city totally paranoid and fucked up sooner than I would ask someone to help, because 3/4 of my paranoia is not trusting people. Even for something innocuous. Even people whom I'm intimately familiar with.

Like, my paranoia is specifically thinking people are watching or observing me for Purposes. What those Purposes are are not yet clear, but if I get away fast enough, and don't stay in one place long enough, they won't catch on. Even my friends and family can inadvertantly let slip information to people who have these Purposes. So I am very non-interactive during these episodes, and try my best to seem... normal? Even though in retrospect I absolutely seem a fucking crazypants.

But I think the physical toolkit, or other grounding mechanisms would be very helpful. At least in helping me not feel fearful, not sure in dispelling the paranoia. Though that ha had limited success in the past, after having some very vivid hallucinations I went to go snuggle a cat because I was so terrified I was crying, but I just had a purring cat and was still afraid.

And yeah, the reassessing has been helpful so far in identifying the paranoia, And it has helped me identify when I'm having paranoid thoughts, so that has helped, so I'll keep that in my back pocket.

[ SECRET POST #3021 ]

Re: Advice for psychotic episodes?

Re: Advice for psychotic episodes?