[ SECRET POST #3023 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3023 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.


__________________________________________________



18.









Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #432.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

How are they supposed to find out if no one's telling them? I'm assuming from the secret that neither person's ages are listed anywhere on any of their profiles, so when that information isn't available what's the friend supposed to do?

[(Anonymous)]

...Did you miss the secret up thread about people looking others up?

[(Anonymous)]

And everyone knows how to do that, do they? Every single person knows how to run extensive background checks on everyone they run into in fandom?

If OP knows/suspects they're older, then the onus remains on them to be upfront. If they're posting or discussing NSFW content, then even more so. This friend might be college-age, but there could also be minors interacting with them without being aware that they're not talking to another teen.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

She is not a minor. I do interact with any minors on a personal level, though obviously I cannot control who reads my fics, and I do not do background checks on every single person who follows me on tumblr.

[dancing_clown]

If the friend knows they're uncomfortable with people who are older than them, and age has never come up, it's up to them to say "hey, how old are you?" OP is absolutely in no way responsible or obligated to say "Oh, and just you know, in case it bothers you, I'm like old and stuff."

[(Anonymous)]

And if the friend is assuming (as OP says, because of their frame of reference etc.) that they're talking to someone close to their age, why would they automatically do that?

If OP actually values this person as a friend, then they most certainly do have a responsibility to be honest with them.

[dancing_clown]

I don't think it's dishonesty if age isn't a thing that's been brought up. Sure, if the friend had expressed some sort of fear or discomfort of older people, it's dishonest and disingenuous of OP to not disclose their age.

But otherwise? Am I being dishonest with you by not telling you my age? My job? My race? No, I'm not. Because it's irrelevant, until you tell me it's not. Right now we're just two people talking about a secret. Or in OP's case, two people squeeing over a fandom.

[(Anonymous)]

But we're not in a friendship, are we? We're two strangers on the internet. We have no emotional attachment. We have no bonds of trust.

When you're beginning to term the other person a friend, then the relationship shifts and a certain level of trust and honesty comes into play. Then, things about both parties become relevant in order to allow both to make informed choices about where the relationship goes.