fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3026 ]

[ SECRET POST #3026 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3026 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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03.

[Time Team]

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04.

(Transformers: Windblade)

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06.

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07.

[Sesame Street]

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08.

(Transformers: More than Meets the Eye)

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09.

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10.

(Transformers: Robots in Disguise 2015)

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15.

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16. [ SPOILERS for Aldnoah.Zero ]

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17. [ SPOILERS for Classic Who ]

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18. [ SPOILERS for Inuyasha ]

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19. [ WARNING for abuse, suicide ]

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20. [ WARNING for abuse ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #432.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Where the hell are you getting it that OP wants to talk about it PUBLICLY?

OP just expresses desire for it to be AS socially acceptable for women to talk about slash as it is for men to talk about lesbian porn.

OP mentions "conversations with friends" -- not a family dinner with grandma or at the office

Socially acceptable generally means accepted by the general public. Socially acceptable does not mean, "accepted by a tiny group of individuals in a certain setting."

But you're completely ignoring the qualifier -- "AS socially acceptable for women to talk about slash AS it is for men to talk about lesbian porn." That's it. It's not that men can talk about their love of lesbian porn anywhere and everywhere. But it STILL is more common and acceptable for men to discuss it than for women to talk about slash.

This is why, for example, most women know that a lot of men like lesbian porn whereas almost every guy I've ever talked to is clueless that women might like slash.

da

no, OP flat out implied it was socially acceptable for men to talk about lesbian porn.

it's not.

in fact, I think it would be much more skeevy in 99.9% of possible social situations for a guy to talk about how he likes lesbian porn than for a woman to suddenly blurt that she likes gay porn.

Er...I think you just ASSUMED because that is NOT what I took from it.

OP just wants it to be AS socially acceptable for women to like slash as men like lesbian porn. And points out how, with men, it's so common that it's often presumed that they do.

They also say a "conversation with friends" so, again, I don't know why you're imagining that people are just blurting this out in any and every social situation.

Are you... OP?

Socially acceptable does NOT mean "presumed that it happens".

I presume someone's urinated on every possible seat when I'm taking public transportation, that doesn't mean it's socially acceptable.

No. Not OP. But I totally see where OP is coming from.

And how is it not socially acceptable for men to like lesbian porn? I have literally seen guys in bars push girls to make on and cheer and hoot while they girls do.

You really deny that it's less socially acceptable for women to like slash then for men to like lesbian porn?

Again, that is not socially acceptable. That is crude behavior, accepted as crude behavior. Pushing girls to make out I should think would be seen as sleazy if not borderline harassment by any person who is sober and not a misogynistic drunk asshole. Same with guys hooting at girls making out. That's not socially acceptable, it's simply done.

YES IT IS.

It happens REPEATEDLY and to ENTHUSIASTIC ENCOURAGEMENT in bars.

If it were NOT acceptable then the patrons would be thrown out (which they aren't) and the girls wouldn't do it -- but lots of girls DO.

SOME people might look down on it, but that doesn't mean it's socially unacceptable.

DA

"Socially unacceptable" doesn't always mean a behavior so reviled that you get kicked out of establishments for it. That's just one extreme on the unacceptability spectrum. You're not gonna get kicked out of a bar for picking your nose, no matter how long you do it or how close to your brain your fingers get. The worst that's gonna happen to you is you get people looking down on you. That doesn't mean it's now socially acceptable to pick your nose in public.

Groups can REPEATEDLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY ENCOURAGE all kinds of fucked up behavior. It doesn't mean that those behaviors are now acceptable. They only have the courage to do it when they're in a large group; it makes them feel immune to social criticism. Maybe to them in that moment it's acceptable, but society at large still thinks that it's crude and inappropriate and unacceptable.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-18 05:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-18 05:31 (UTC) - Expand

that's just not what OP's language is saying / implying, duder

it's just not

How is it not?

AS socially acceptable -- OP never says that they want to be able to talk about slash at the office. They just want slash to be AS socially acceptable as lesbian porn.

Also look at the social situation presented -- conversation with friends.

Someone upthread even mentioned that guys might talk about this stuff "with bros." That is basically what OP's secret describes.

OP here - yeah, that's what I meant. For it to be socially acceptable enough to not be awkward in conversations with friends.

I don't generally talk porn at work.

Just because we know that a lot of men like lesbian porn doesn't mean we really ~accept~ it though. YMMV of course, but most people I know think it's kind of gross/perverted and/or low-key homophobic when a guy is into lesbian porn. These same people usually express the view that straight female slash fans are creepy fetishists, so.

Really?

I've only seen that opinion expressed if the guy is anti-LGBT rights or makes homophobic remarks about gay men. Or pressures women to make out in front of him (I've seen that happen...).

ayrt

To be fair, I hang out in some pretty SJW-y circles. But I don't think it's uncommon to have unflattering views like that (if not to that extreme) of people who are overly open about their porn-viewing habits.

I think this is really only true in very liberal / feminist circles (the internet being one of them). I'm part of those circles, but I actually don't care that men like lesbian porn, especially since I know a lot of women like the genderflipped equivalent of it. I think it's only a certain type of extreme SJ person who would try to police what other people find hot, and who consider men consuming lesbian porn fetishizing and unacceptable. (IMO, I think it's really only unacceptable if you consume m/m or f/f porn and are shitty to real-life gays/lesbians/bisexual people (like denying them rights or being homophobic) -- because that's some real cognitive dissonance right there.)

Outside these very social justice-y circles, I think people generally don't think men liking lesbian porn is unacceptable.

or actual lesbians. who don't like when guys objectify lesbians through porn because it leads to treating them shitty in real life.

l...esbians? what is this social justice crap?

but surely that's an argument against pornography & smut in general

I mean, someone could be against straight men consuming lesbian porn but still think it's okay for lesbians to consume it.

I'm not sure that holds up?

There would need to be some form of objectification unique to lesbian porn as such, I guess, as distinct from porn generally.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-18 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-18 03:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-18 04:12 (UTC) - Expand

socially acceptable means "accepted in a context with other people being there", BY a majority of people. It does not mean "by the general public, IN a public situation."
When I come out to my family, it still will play a big role how socially acceptable the idea of homosexuality is, even though I'm not standing in a public place, talking to strangers.
So shut up.

well, that's how I would naturally take "socially acceptable"

that said, I would say, if they're talking about what they can talk about in private conversations with close friends, that would seem to me to be more down to the friend in question that anything else

nayrt

OP said "socially acceptable". And then went on to talk about non-fandom friends... I have non-fandom friends that I talk about porn with? like, if we're talking about private friendships, it depends on the people? If we're not, we're talking about conversations between acquaintances in non-private situations, and then OP really has no idea what socially acceptable means.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only