[ SECRET POST #3026 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3026 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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03.
[Time Team]


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04.
(Transformers: Windblade)


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06.


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07.
[Sesame Street]


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08.
(Transformers: More than Meets the Eye)


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09.


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10.
(Transformers: Robots in Disguise 2015)


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14.


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15.


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16. [ SPOILERS for Aldnoah.Zero ]



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17. [ SPOILERS for Classic Who ]



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18. [ SPOILERS for Inuyasha ]



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19. [ WARNING for abuse, suicide ]



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20. [ WARNING for abuse ]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #432.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kallanda_lee]

Eh, this is a difficult one, OP.

I understand you wanting to support your friend and wanting to be there for them. But yeah, mental illness can have a huge effect on how you experience life and yes, you are, in a way a different person now - while your friend will be definition be more egocentric as their own life is probably already too much too handle.

It' a touch call, because you're probably helping them, but do make sure you're not allowing yourself be drained, either.

Thing is you MIGHT have things in common, but depression generally sucks the joy out of most hobbies or interests, too.

[elaminator]

This. It sounds like OP has been a good friend and wants to continue and that's awesome. However, if OP eventually finds that being there for their friend is draining them of all happiness (or time) then they have a reason to cool things down for a while (or reconsider the relationship in full).

People change and if you can no longer connect then you aren't obligated to stay friends. (It's unfortunate and I totally understand wanting to be there for support, just take care of yourself too.)

[(Anonymous)]

I disagree that OP's been a good friend. The line about "our conversations feel like noting but being there for you now" makes me feel like OP wants out because they have to give more than the receive. I understand it's taxing in a friendship when this happens, but not every friendships going to be 100% give and take especially with two friends with mental illness. IMHO OP wants an out, and goes as far as to rationalize saying they "probably have nothing in common". It's fine to want an out, friends do change and it's ok to end it especially if the friendships dragging you down... I just can't see OP as a "good friend".

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Yeah, can't comment on whether or not OP's been a good friend up until thia point, but the wording in the secret definitely smacks of them being fine with things when they were getting support/empathy/someone to vent to/someone who understood how they felt out of the friendship, and now it's the other person needing more of that than OP does they can't cope with it.

If it's damaging OP's mental health then obviously you do what you need to to keep your well-being, but I wonder how they'd feel if the friend had been the one to begin their recovery first and felt this way about them.

[elaminator]

Hmm, I didn't read it that way, but you raise good points. I took this as “I want to continue supporting my friend emotionally but I'm worried that we might not have anything in common anymore and our friendship might not last". I didn't consider that OP might not want to be friends anymore because their friendship isn't 50/50. I agree that friendships are rarely equal in that way, and know that doesn't have to be a bad thing. (It can be in extreme cases though. The support has to come from both sides, even if one needs much more than the other.)

But since we're only getting one side of the story (And I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt anyway) I'm not sure how much I can judge.

The not having anything in common I can understand though. They might not feel comfortable making a blanket statement like “We have nothing in common" but it could be true. (Or, you know, mostly true. Almost everyone has something in common, if you look hard enough.) I say this because my oldest friend is basically the opposite of me in lots of ways, and most the things I'm interested in she wouldn't even try. We live completely different lives, etc. Sometimes it feels like we have nothing in common too, but we're still talking.

So I suppose OP could be exaggerating the differences between the two, but if they aren't I don't think acknowledging it is a bad thing. To me it didn't sound like OP wanted to stop talking to their friend, but was more worried about the future of their friendship.

Maybe I'm wearing rose colored glasses, idk, but I guess you're right in that we don't know if OP has been a good friend are not.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed! OP is not a good friend and others ought to be wary of OP- whoever it is- in the future.

[(Anonymous)]

I second this.