fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3031 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3031 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Going to be a late day, so early secrets!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 035 secrets from Secret Submission Post #433.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I used to post on the same site as a self-proclaimed superhero who thought video game characters talked to her. Also on the site was an obnoxious rationalist who thought we shouldn't coddle her delusions. He got banned and she didn't, because he was the one who was causing trouble and being disruptive.

If that girl was for real, then ignoring her and enabling her delusions isn't good for her. It was the easy way for the mods, but someone should have tried to help her. Unfortunately not everyone has friends of family that can help them.

Maybe I'm being completely obtuse here, but what's the alternative to "enabling her delusions" supposed to be? All I've seen so far is harassing people to try and drive them away.

If you want to help people then you reach out to them and help them directly. This is not a site or space for helping people in general, it's a place for different people to bond or chat over fandom and secrets and what not. The priority here for the mods is to focus on what the place IS about which as far as I'm seeing Case is doing, rather than to let people push their personal agendas like "helping other people" when those other people haven't asked for it.

Wow, the fuck's wrong with you? Who are you to decide when a perfect stranger needs your "tough love"?

So, its came to that mindset, then.

Well, help don't come with force. either you take the opinions, consider, or just leave it there. AT LEAST, someone response that questions of yours, either it is good, bad and ugly.

Well, if you give it like an asshole, hehehe....fine then. Have it your way, asshole.

I have to admit, I don't really understand what you're saying here. Could you clarify?

If you are not trolling, you're a sad individual.

I really hope you didn't actually mean to post that to diet_poison.

Yes, I did. Because only a shitty human being would think that trying to help others is wrong.

You're not actually trying to help anyone, anon. You're trying to get away with bullying them.

And in any case, you can't appoint yourself someone else's savior and you can't force someone to accept your help. Doing either of those things isn't about the person you say you're trying to help -- it's about you. And only shitty human beings take other people's suffering and make it about them.

This so much.

Thank you.

I cannot with people who think they're the only hope for someone who doesn't even want help. It really DOES become about them, and the ego boost they get from "helping" - and it's so dehumanizing and patronizing to that person as well, and usually just makes things worse.

If you want to help, look for what the other person actually needs, not what you want them to need to suit your own ends.

Edited 2015-04-25 23:48 (UTC)

And obviously only YOUR way of trying to help people is helpful! Obviously.

Dude, no.

Even if you'd be right, and it would be an issue - you're not their shrink, you're not their mother, and you do not go in barging "saving people from themselves" while not knowing their r/l situation, and whether or not that's appreciated.

So next time someone post a comment here saying that they are thinking of killing themselves, we should ignore them! Great idea.

Mental illness definitely needs to be addressed more in our society, instead of being ignored or pushed aside until the person has a mental breakdown.

those are hugely incomparable situations, for very obvious reasons. for instance, not being in a position of clear and present danger to oneself or others is a big difference.

i would also say that your attitude and posts make it impossible to believe that you're doing this out of some sincere sense of compassion. you're doing this to be a bully, and it's not on. stop being an ass, whatever you think of the person in question.

That's someone reaching out for help. It's a completely different ball of wax.

You honestly think stalking someone and aggressively accusing them of lying is helping?

Only, those are two totally different things.

DID is a coping mechanism for trauma, among other things, and does not put someone in direct danger.

Someone who is about to kill themselves is in acute danger, so yeah, I would try to talk them down from it.

I would not forcibly try to take away someone's trauma mechanisms, even if they are maladaptive.

Mental illness does not to be addressed more - but not by random anons on the internet who are about as qualified to comment on it as they are about nuclear fission.

Actually, my dear stalker is lying again. Among the things they did was send me comments claiming to be Sneak and Miranda, asking me to do things. Which, you know, would TOTALLY be "encouraging my delusions," and NOT in a helpful way.

But I'm sure that's totally the same as trying to help me when I'm suicidal. We should give the dear a medal for therapeutic genius.

--Rogan

Sorry, lb, that's awful :(

(no subject)

lb_lee - 2015-04-24 17:39 (UTC) - Expand

kallanda_lee - 2015-04-24 21:56 (UTC) - Expand

wait, is this person talking about YOU?!?!?!?

what?

holy shit :(

lb_lee - 2015-04-26 00:00 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2015-04-26 04:56 (UTC) - Expand

lb_lee - 2015-04-27 01:03 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2015-04-27 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

lb_lee - 2015-04-27 04:12 (UTC) - Expand

I honestly think your behavior is more likely to CAUSE a mental breakdown than prevent one.

You can't help people who don't want to be helped. Trying to force help someone, especially if it involves following them around, doesn't actually do anything for them. And at the end of day, doing that isn't about them - it's about you. It's about making yourself feel good someone else's expense and justifying it by saying, "oh, but I'm just trying to help."

You can't fix anyone, especially not over the internet. And trying to do it won't fix you.