fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3032 ]

[ SECRET POST #3032 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3032 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Ioan Gruffudd/Horatio Hornblower]

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03.

[ebooks tree]

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04.

[Horrible Histories]

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05.

[Burn Notice]

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06.

[Bradley Cooper]

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07.

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08.

[Grimm]

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09.

[Assassin's Creed: UNITY]

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10. [POSSIBLE WARNING for suicide]

[David Walliams]

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11.

[Game of Thrones]

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12.

[Nina Dobrev]

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13.

[The Avengers]

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14.

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15.

[Fire Emblem: Awakening]

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16.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #433.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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If/when you see someone as less intelligent than you to the point that you don't think they have anything worthwhile to say, do you usually believe that they see themselves the same way? When they're talking, do you think THEY think they're saying something meaningful even though you don't, or do you imagine they "know" they're just spouting worthless crap?

In fiction, stupid people are usually portrayed as not realizing how stupid they are, and I kind of assumed society expects them to be the same way.

BUT when I think about it, the people who think I'm stupid to the point that anything that comes out of my mouth is total garbage seem to think I see myself the same way. In their minds, I'm not talking nonsense because I'm unaware of how stupid I am - they think I "know" I have nothing worth listening to but I'm just talking anyway because I'm malicious? because that's just what people like me do? to try to "get the last word?" I don't know why, in their minds, I would talk if I didn't think I had something to say, but I can't exactly ask them.

I've noticed this is especially true of men who think women don't have anything meaningful to say (like my father, with me). When they're annoyed with a woman for talking when they think she shouldn't be, they think she's trying to get the last word, or trying to provoke them into getting really angry ("asking for" some sort of punishment")... otherwise, she wouldn't be talking. It never occurs to them that even if they don't think she has a point or anything worth hearing, she might be talking because SHE thinks she does.

As a guy, depends on the person. Some people do like to talk just to hear themselves talk. Others don't. Gender has nothing to do with it.

I'm guessing what you mean is that some people are assholes, period. This is true. But it's also true that there's a special subset of assholes who consistently only get angry or dismissive when women venture forth an opinion.

No, I never said anything about assholes. Wha?

I said some people know they have nothing to add and but want to feel like they contributed so they say whatever bullshit they come up with. Many many guys who I work with, do this, because they think it's better to have had something to say even if it's idiotic than to have said nothing at all and "not contributed"

Do people who are dumb who knowingly say dumb things exist? Of course they do. My point was this trait is not linked to gender

I'm really curious as to what you expected people to say.

Did you think any guys would come forward with "yes, I'm a backwards sexist douche"?

Interesting question. I'm a woman, but when I'm trapped in a conversation with someone who's inclined to say dumb stuff, I'm fairly sure they don't think of it that way otherwise they'd probably be too embarrassed to say it.

The gender issue you referred to... I don't know. I think that's more a case where the man is clearly an asshole of the first order, so for the woman it's a lose-lose situation. A man with such a low opinion of women won't be happy if he thinks a woman is wasting his time with dumb conversation, but he's also probably not going to be happy if the conversation is intelligent because he'll feel threatened by it. She's damned if she does, damned if she doesn't in his view.

I'm sorry your dad is a dick, anon. I hope you don't take his dickishness to heart.

The first part is how I feel, in general. Even if someone is talking to hear themselves talk, I assume they don't think the stuff they're saying is dumb. No matter how dumb I might think it is.

With my dad, his attitude is kind of "I know you're not saying anything important, and YOU know you're not saying anything important so quit pretending you think you are."

Or if I try to say my side of something, he'll just say I'm trying to get the last word. And then of course everything I say becomes meaningless because it's just me "getting the last word" not me trying to actually express something.

Your dad doesn't really sound like a very pleasant person, and I think the assumptions he makes about other people reflect that rather than the norm.

I think intelligence is relative, honestly, which fiction does often ignore. I can read better than a lot of people, but in one of my college courses we had to read the likes of Chaucer... I had no clue what I was reading. None. Meanwhile I had classmates who read it like The Canterbury Taleswas the easiest read in the world. So it's very relative.

And yes, there's people who certainly feel that they're less intelligent.

Nnnnnnnno...? I mean, if I genuinely feel a person I'm talking to is stupid, I would automatically assume they don't realize they're stupid. Most stupid people don't, which is why they get defensive when you call them out on having basic facts wrong or even pointing out their typos.

Men treating women a certain way because gender issues, etc is not really related to people of any gender just being dumb. On top of that, people who do prattle tend to have some other issue (narcissism, social ineptitude) that has nothing to do with the intelligence of what they say or what they think.

pointing out typos/grammar is pretty dumb though

If you've got the job of editing their writing, you'd better be pointing out their typos/grammar.

Re: Honest question (especially for guys)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-24 03:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Honest question (especially for guys)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-24 03:17 (UTC) - Expand

Or possibly they get defensive because you come off as arrogant or condescending. Which, judging by the tone of your comment, is fairly likely.

Stupidity isn't having basic facts wrong (ignorance and lacking in education) or spelling mistakes (mistakes).

I would say making assumptions about people based on the above or how they prattle on could be regarded as a stupid attitude to take, as you're falling into the trap of assuming you are always right and your impressions are always correct. That is bad social behaviour.

Most of the people I've met who make that sort of assumption tend to be more ignorant than the person they've decided knows nothing and is maliciously spouting nonsense.

In my experience most people that seem pretty stupid to me really do tend to think of themselves as smarter than everyone else -- but this only really applies to dudes (who, to be fair, make up the majority of people I think are stupid.)

Yeah, my ex-stepmother would like a word with you. She was the dumbest asshole who thought she was a fucking genius.

He said "majority."

Re: Honest question (especially for guys)

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-24 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

but this only really applies to dudes

Man, I WISH. I knew a lot of girls like that when I was a teenager (probably because I went to a large all girl school so it was bound to happen at some point)

Well, I'm sure they're out there, but most of the women I've met who might be considered a tad dim were usually pretty low on self-esteem.

Well psychology has a lot to say about this. Studies show that men consistently overestimate their intelligence whereas women tend to underestimate theirs. Taking gender out of the equation, other studies have shown that people consistently rate themselves as "above average" regardless of whether or not that is actually true.

So no, the idea that people are aware that they are wrong or stupid has been proven false.

However, the interesting part of these studies is that your friends and family are extremely reliable when it comes to estimating your intelligence. So if your friends and family all think you are below average there is a greater than 70% chance that you will actually test as below average on an intelligence test.

I figure most people saying stupid things think they're making a coherent point.

And I think you're mixing up two very separate issues. A person judging that someone is stupid based on the stupid thing they're saying is one thing, your family members or other assholes you might know thinking of you as stupid foremost and assuming everything you say is going to be stupid is quite another. It sounds like what you're talking about has little to do with you, and more to do with the fact that your father is self-centered enough to believe that people's actions MUST be based on an intent to rile him up, or otherwise revolve around him.

Not a guy, but I don't think a person's intelligence levels have anything to do with if they have anything worthwhile to say or not.

High IQ does not a good, or even interesting, person make.

I honestly have never experienced this situation at all. I know people whose brains process way slower than mine, and people who say banal or pointless things, but I've never thought they have NOTHING worthwhile to say. Trolls are pointless because they're DOUCHEY, not stupid.

Regardless, I certainly don't see it as an act of malice. They're freakin' EXISTING at me, just like I'm existing at them. Existing isn't a malicious act.

--Rogan

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[ SECRET POST #3032 ]

Honest question (especially for guys)

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