[ SECRET POST #3037 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3037 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #434.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Insults

[(Anonymous)]

Post your best and worst. The worst insult anyone's ever given you. The best or worst you've ever given anyone. Your favorite insults from fiction, history, or people you know, regardless of whether you like them because they're particularly devastating, funny and clever, or anything else.

(No, I don't want to insult anyone. I just feel like reading a bunch of insults)

Re: Insults

[fingalsanteater]

I can't think of a best, but probably the worst was when I told this person she wasn't doing her job right and she said "what do you know, your shoes don't even have laces." Uh, yeah, they don't. They're slip ons.

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

Pssst: She was trying to tell you that you're too dumb to tie your own shoes. That one went right over your head, huh?

Re: Insults

[silverr]

I still like the classic putdown you give to someone who tells you that they want to get into your pants:

"I have one asshole down there already. What do I need you for?"

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

Wankgoblin is easily the best I've heard.

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

It's a keeper.

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Re: Insults

[terabient]

Not exactly an insult, but this is the best rejection line I've seen.

Re: Insults

[dethtoll]

Cramlord, asstank, stumpfucker, fuckorange, humphat, shitwank, fuckass, dogchugger. Go shit glass cats into ass traps, turdsurfer.

You don't really need a Swearing Friend Insult Generator when you have me.

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

"You're a pigfucking ignorant subhuman barrel of festering shit."

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

How about "Go sit on a cactus, you putrid shitpustule"?

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

You're English.

I punched that bastard inna face for that.

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

I love "shit snack". Pam is an insult genius (from Archer)

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

You, sir, are a gibbering jizz-trumpet!

Re: Insults

[caerbannog]

Ohmygod let me see if i still have it somewhere.

Darn. Can't find it. I know I have it saved somewhere. The word fuck tart was used and they wished cancer on my family. They got banned lol.

Eta: found it!

You are a very horrible person. I cant believe the admin lets animal murderers on here. I hope one day you get cancer or some horrible disease & feel all kinds of misery & pain you fuck tart. Report me im asking them to delete this account anyway & go to a site where i can ignore fucking faggots like you.

May you fucking go fuck yourself in hell you stupid ignorant asshole.

Re: Insults

[insanenoodlyguy]

The worst one was not directly at me but I heard it. Two kindergarten/1st graders (never sure which) doing battle on a school bus

"Your momma's so fat she stepped on an alligator- and it bit her!"

Followed by:

"Your momma's so fat she stepped on a hippo: and it bit her!!"

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

"Bloody cum bubble," while not particularly effective as an insult, was nasty enough to get a reaction.

Re: Insults

[sarillia]

I was annoying a friend by nitpicking and he called me a "semantic whore". I'll always remember that one.

Re: Insults

[scrubber]

The best insult is living well.

[chardmonster]

Remember: if you live well, odds are you'll be remembered as a good person/friend, whereas they will be remembered as either a dipshit or "that weird creep," if they are remembered at all. In the end, the best insult you can give a person is proceeding as if you had never encountered them.

That or "cunt."

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

Favorite insult ever: Assbutt!

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

I once called someone a wretched little mollusk, and I maintain that they merited it.

Re: Insults

[illian]

You are not being the person Mr. Rogers thought you could be.

PURPLE POODLE

[lb_lee]

The worst insult I've ever been paid is a toss-up between a joke about my rape history and how that had unmanned me, that time I was told I would weep over my parents' graves for being such a shitty child but I'd realize it too late, and comparing me to Andy Blake.

Possibly the most hilarious one was actually paid to Gigi, who normally could not give less of a shit. But then someone called her a roleplayer, and she went volcanic. (Apparently that hit a nerve? Of all things?)

No wait, I lied! It wasn't roleplayer! The most hilarious, best insult ever paid me was when someone in all earnestness called me a purple poodle! Man, I just wanted to pat them on their little trolly MRA head and go, "You tried, bro."

--Rogan

Re: Insults

[(Anonymous)]

any insult on Trailer Park Boys tends to be epic.