[ SECRET POST #3040 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3040 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Once Upon a Time]


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02.
[Tree of Savior]


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03.
[Disturbed's 'Indestructible']


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04.
[Whitechapel]


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05.


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06.
[Bill Bailey]


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07.
[Total War: Warhammer]


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08.


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09.
[Morph]


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10.
[Harry Potter]


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11.
[FFXIV, RuPaul's Drag Race]


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12.
[Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett]


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13. [SPOILERS for Nightcrawler, Gone Girl]



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14. [SPOILERS for Devil Survivor]



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15. [SPOILERS for Age of Ultron]



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16. [SPOILERS for Broadchurch]



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17. [WARNING for incest, abuse, suicide, and probably necrophilia]

[Sankarea]


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18. [WARNING for abuse]

[Steven Universe]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #434.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

What you're probably most worried about is Maladaptive Behaviors, also nicknamed FLEAS.
https://joyfulalivewoman.wordpress.com/2010/01/17/fleas-bad-behavior-patterns-and-habits-picked-up-from-living-with-a-narcissist/

Basically the idea is that when you live with an abuser you pick up habits to help you survive, and they can be bad when dealing with non-abusive people.

Like for me one of my mental tics is my parents used passive-aggressive ways to punish me, like saying they'd do something and then not doing it and calling me crazy if I mentioned it later. Or they'd dump trash in my room and punish me if I didn't clean it up because it was my trash now.

Now translate that to living with someone else who's 'normal' and goes "Sure, I'll take out the trash" and then starts a new video game and forgets. Or leaves socks on the floor. And it's utterly innocent and if I go "Hey, trash? Remember?" Or "Could you pick up your socks?" I get "Oh, sorry, right, I forgot! On it!" And he does it.

But that's not my first impulse. My first impulse is to go break something of theirs because if I ask I just know I'll get called a liar and laughed at. They're doing it to hurt me and the only thing I can do is hurt them back. Or to lock myself into a self-hate spiral because they're hurting me and attacking me and I didn't do anything wrong.

It's taken years to work through it and make myself go with the assumption that he's a normal human that forgets stuff sometimes.


From me, the biggest advice is never justify it. If you hurt someone (And yes, you can hurt others by hurting yourself) see if it's a behavior you've picked up and try to find a healthy way instead. Like it used to drive me crazy that my mother would rant about how her mother never had a single positive thing to say about her, and when I pointed out she never had anything positive for me I got "That's different, I love you and want you to be better, she just enjoyed tearing me down." Except it was always the same. It sounds like just by recognizing that you're capable of it you're making great steps towards leaving the past behind you and I wish you the best of luck.