fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3046 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Beyonce Knowles]

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[Blake's 7]

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[Spec Ops: The Line]

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[Cell Block Tango]

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[Mortal Kombat]

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[Captain America/Kingsman: The Secret Service]

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[Blake's 7/"Orbit"]

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[Henry V]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 014 secrets from Secret Submission Post #435.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I had an ex-friend of about 8-9 years and boy, they were as manipulative as they come. I tried not to fault them too much, because their personal life was not a happy one. Never the less, it was years of on/off stuff and how they'd constantly talk about other friends behind their backs one moment, and then talk sweetly to them the next. It was kind of maddening, because I genuinely remembered we had some fun times coming up with stuff and drawing all kind of silly fandom-y things. Like the nights we'd have 100+ comment chains on LJ with nothing but screencaps from our favorite shared anime/game, or the photomanips with esoteric in-jokes.

Anyhow, they were also pretty controlling when it came to fandom interests. If you liked something they didn't, boy, they got passive-aggressive with a capital P and A. When they made the switch to doing original works, they pretty much shunned those who still did fan art and made no bones to hide their new found elitism in that department. They continually passed off the blame in any situation to other people, and didn't own up to anything when called out on. I remember the revolving door of friends, and how they didn't think they did anything wrong in those situations. I sided with them for the longest time, until it was becoming clearer and clearer to me that maybe, just maybe, some of those ex-friends of theirs were probably the smarter ones. Thing was, I could have ended the friendship at any time, but I was scared. I was scared they would try and ruin my reputation -what little there is of it- behind my back. When you're pretty much a no-name in the art/fandom world of the internet, sometimes you're the type who gets scared at that sort of stuff. At least, I was, anyways.

Eventually, the thing that caused me to finally leave them, was when they were super anti-My Little Pony, and I was into it at the time. One day, they made a DA journal entry that basically demanded that people stop drawing MLP fan art. I simply responded "I'll draw whatever I want, thank you", and then proceeded to remove them from everything: Twitter, LiveJournal, Tumblr, DA, Fur Affinity... you name it. (So even though I'm no longer a fan of MLP, I at least hold a soft spot in my heart for the series because it was what got me away from that toxic ex-friend of mine)

And man, it felt good. Like I had no reason to be afraid anymore. It was a liberating experience, and I vowed I would never be cowed like that in a friendship anymore (which ultimately led me to stop talking to a former fandom friend, who while a nice guy, was hella neurotic and kind of passive-aggressive towards things he didn't like as well). Plus, at that point in my life, I'd found myself surrounded by some of the most wonderful and supportive people I have been blessed to know, and who had proven themselves to be the most genuine friends I've ever had. They showed me what true friendship was, not the person who I'd left behind.

As an addendum, I haven't heard a single peep from them directly in a long time. About a couple months after the DA episode, I got a tweet from them wishing me a happy birthday and that they missed me. Years later, I looked at StatCounter, and found they had visited my Tumblr blog and looked through things for a good 10 minutes. (I have their account blocked, so I don't know if they liked anything or even sent me an ask/note) I'd thought of visiting their blog out of morbid curiosity, but I didn't.

So yeah, that's that I suppose.

Edited 2015-05-08 01:23 (UTC)

I completely get the "I was scared," stuff. :( I'm happy to hear you eventually got away though. Congrats on that. :)

I'm glad you managed to cut things off! Mine was someone of 15 years and honestly I've been hesitating for a couple of years in it but some final straws (not MLP or fandom but some comments ) has me more or less nope I'm out at them. Feels soooo good

You know, mek, I think that the folks who made Friendship is Magic would feel good, knowing that their show helped you get away from a BAD friendship! That seems like something really appropriate for that show.

--Sneak

[ SECRET POST #3046 ]

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl