[ SECRET POST #3046 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.


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03.


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04.
[Beyonce Knowles]


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05.
[Blake's 7]


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06.


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07.


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08.
[Spec Ops: The Line]


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09.
[Cell Block Tango]


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10.


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11.
[Mortal Kombat]


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12.
[Captain America/Kingsman: The Secret Service]


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13.
[Blake's 7/"Orbit"]


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14.
[Henry V]















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 014 secrets from Secret Submission Post #435.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

What's a time you managed to ditch someone who was a strangling weight around your neck?
(I'm celebrating 1 month of getting out of a pretty toxic friendship. I feel so much better. )

And if you're trying to get out of one, I wish you luck :(

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

This one friendship with a guy about three years back. At first I thought he was a genuinely sweet and nice guy. Then later I found out he was an extreme version of a Nice Guy. And not just to me but to other people.

Needlessly to say I'm so glad to be away from him because he turned out to be one of the most genuinely creepy and manipulative people I hav ever met.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[dethtoll]

People like that are the worst omg. That whole seeming decent and then you find out they're like, Redpillers or something.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

I'm glad you're away from him anon!

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[dethtoll]

As I recall from yesterday, we're in similar boats, though mine was a couple months ago.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

Yeah it reminded me and this morning I realised it's a whole 1 month. Well as of tonight. Celebrating because I was worried id feel bad and go apologise but nope! Bridge still mostly demolished!

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[ex_mek82]

I had an ex-friend of about 8-9 years and boy, they were as manipulative as they come. I tried not to fault them too much, because their personal life was not a happy one. Never the less, it was years of on/off stuff and how they'd constantly talk about other friends behind their backs one moment, and then talk sweetly to them the next. It was kind of maddening, because I genuinely remembered we had some fun times coming up with stuff and drawing all kind of silly fandom-y things. Like the nights we'd have 100+ comment chains on LJ with nothing but screencaps from our favorite shared anime/game, or the photomanips with esoteric in-jokes.

Anyhow, they were also pretty controlling when it came to fandom interests. If you liked something they didn't, boy, they got passive-aggressive with a capital P and A. When they made the switch to doing original works, they pretty much shunned those who still did fan art and made no bones to hide their new found elitism in that department. They continually passed off the blame in any situation to other people, and didn't own up to anything when called out on. I remember the revolving door of friends, and how they didn't think they did anything wrong in those situations. I sided with them for the longest time, until it was becoming clearer and clearer to me that maybe, just maybe, some of those ex-friends of theirs were probably the smarter ones. Thing was, I could have ended the friendship at any time, but I was scared. I was scared they would try and ruin my reputation -what little there is of it- behind my back. When you're pretty much a no-name in the art/fandom world of the internet, sometimes you're the type who gets scared at that sort of stuff. At least, I was, anyways.

Eventually, the thing that caused me to finally leave them, was when they were super anti-My Little Pony, and I was into it at the time. One day, they made a DA journal entry that basically demanded that people stop drawing MLP fan art. I simply responded "I'll draw whatever I want, thank you", and then proceeded to remove them from everything: Twitter, LiveJournal, Tumblr, DA, Fur Affinity... you name it. (So even though I'm no longer a fan of MLP, I at least hold a soft spot in my heart for the series because it was what got me away from that toxic ex-friend of mine)

And man, it felt good. Like I had no reason to be afraid anymore. It was a liberating experience, and I vowed I would never be cowed like that in a friendship anymore (which ultimately led me to stop talking to a former fandom friend, who while a nice guy, was hella neurotic and kind of passive-aggressive towards things he didn't like as well). Plus, at that point in my life, I'd found myself surrounded by some of the most wonderful and supportive people I have been blessed to know, and who had proven themselves to be the most genuine friends I've ever had. They showed me what true friendship was, not the person who I'd left behind.

As an addendum, I haven't heard a single peep from them directly in a long time. About a couple months after the DA episode, I got a tweet from them wishing me a happy birthday and that they missed me. Years later, I looked at StatCounter, and found they had visited my Tumblr blog and looked through things for a good 10 minutes. (I have their account blocked, so I don't know if they liked anything or even sent me an ask/note) I'd thought of visiting their blog out of morbid curiosity, but I didn't.

So yeah, that's that I suppose.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

I completely get the "I was scared," stuff. :( I'm happy to hear you eventually got away though. Congrats on that. :)

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

I'm glad you managed to cut things off! Mine was someone of 15 years and honestly I've been hesitating for a couple of years in it but some final straws (not MLP or fandom but some comments ) has me more or less nope I'm out at them. Feels soooo good

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[lb_lee]

You know, mek, I think that the folks who made Friendship is Magic would feel good, knowing that their show helped you get away from a BAD friendship! That seems like something really appropriate for that show.

--Sneak

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

Cut someone off when he told me I was going to hell after I came out as gay to him. "Funny" thing was that he was thought I was bi and when I told him that no, I was gay he tried to "convince" me that I was actually bi. Because see if I was bi, th he had a chance to go out with me right? Wrong. He didn't take it well. Proceeded to send me angry emails and stalk me. It sucked at first, but inside I was deeply relieved to be free of him. No more hearing him talk about how LGBT+ people were wrong and evil and going to hell, no more hearing how girls were evil and slutty, no more being sexually harassed by him, and other bullshit I'd put up with for 3 years.

I still have no idea why I was friends with him for so long, but eh. It's over now.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

Jesus anon. Glad you're out. There are some real creepers out there who won't take no :(

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

I used to have a bunch of people on my flist who were from the same corner of fandom, and they'd get furious with me if I sad anything "wrong."

I mean, I was pretty young at the time, so I'm sure I handled some opinions wrong and stuff, but at the same time, they were completely unreasonable. One of them tried to convince me I was suffering from a mental illness. I believe that's called gaslighting...

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

Aww that's pretty sucky of them to do, especially to a young person. Also holy hell trying to convince someone they're mentally I'll cause you disagree? Not right.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

I had a guy online friend who told me he'd just been naked, and got mad at me when I was a little creeped out by it.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

Guess he found it unfathomable that not everyone wants naked pics D:

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[lb_lee]

A bunch, but probably one of the weirder ones involved us when we were first coming out. At the time, the only people we were out to offline was our shrink and a friend at school. (We were in undergrad at the time.) Next year, we decided to become roommates.

And then shit hit the fan.

A few months after moving in together, she confesses her love to Miranda. Miranda is straight, and it doesn't go anywhere. Then after THAT, roomie comes out multiple. And her headmate LOATHES me.

Things just got worse after that. They pretty much tried to convince us we couldn't take care of ourself, that only THEY could take care of us, and that we shouldn't tell anyone we were multi, because they wouldn't understand. At the same time, they outed us to facilitate their own coming outs, only to then claim that no, we were just so OBVIOUS, people just couldn't help but realize we were multi!

She then outed us to her dad, who was a tenured prof at the college we were both attending, and told us that he thought we were an axe-murderer and was going to call the mental health police on us.

Finally, we couldn't take the batshit anymore and just moved the fuck out without telling her. We rigged it with the administration and one day grabbed all our boxes and left, not telling her our new dorm. She told us that everyone knew we were crazy, and we spent the last four months of our college education twitchy, paranoid, extremely stressed, and not talking or associating with anyone.

Her headmate also has the dubious honor of being the only person we have ever punched in the face. (Gigi did it.)

--Rogan

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

They pretty much tried to convince us we couldn't take care of ourself, that only THEY could take care of us

My god I hate people like this. They creep me the fuck out and the whole "You can't take care of yourself! Only I can take care of you!" has always been, in my personal experience, just a way to manipulate and entrap someone. Brrr. *hugs self*

Sorry to hear that you had to deal with that shit.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[caerbannog]

Well down to Gigi on ounching them in the face. I really don't understand people who feel the need to go around spreading rumours about people. Kudos to you all for switching dorms! I hope their drama hasn't followed you around.

Calling you all an axe murderer? Really???

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[iceyred]

My older brother is, to put it nicely, a bullying ne'er do well. After a death, I realized that his behavior was shitty and pathetic, and that I wouldn't put up with it from anyone else. So I quit putting up with it from him. Haven't spoken to him in eight years, don't intend to start anytime soon.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[feotakahari]

I got away from him pretty quickly, but I briefly had a psychiatrist who seemed to care less about treating me and more about making me obedient and submissive. He started me off on a hardcore sleeping pill, tried to push me to keep taking it even though it zonked me out all day, and wanted me on it long-term even though it causes dependency issues when used for a long time. When I vetoed that, he tried to put me on medicine for bipolar disorder, even though I'm not bipolar. I noped out after posting about him here--I mentioned the combo of medicine other patients were taking, and someone recognized it as potentially lethal. In retrospect, I have to wonder if I dodged a therapy cult.

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

Congrats on breaking free and happy one-month anniversary to that! \o/

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe I can write about this without it making me all depressed finally. It's been about three years I guess?

I had a really close fandom friend. At the time she was pretty much my ONLY fandom friend because we just connected almost immediately over a shared fandom and shared likes (characters, kinks, storylines, etc). We thought a lot alike and talked about everything, not just fandom. She became my best friend, both in and out of fandom.

Thing is... I was a little on the paranoid side, didn't want to take any chances with my RL ever being connected with my fandom life, and so I gave her my first name only, didn't tell her where I lived, etc. And she told me I was a bad friend and if I was really her friend I should trust her and tell her that stuff - which of course set off my paranoia because why did she NEED to know so bad? :-S

*shakes head at self*

I guess my hesitance set off her insecurity and she started getting very upset when I'd be offline for a half a day or so without chatting, and she'd accuse me of actually being online but invisible to her because I was avoiding her (I wasn't doing that). She told me I wasn't there for her if I'd spend a day with my family instead of online, etc. She told me "You don't understand, you are the most important person in my life" which totally freaked me out.

And yet for being the "most important person in her life", she was pretty derogatory towards me, mocking things I tried to share with her that I liked, getting furious anytime I mentioned my RPF because it was SO MORRALLY WRONG that she could barely stand to talk to me when I mentioned it, etc.

She held certain religious beliefs with which I strongly disagreed personally, but I NEVER criticized her for them or let it affect our friendship. Yet when I finally ventured to tell her MY religious beliefs, she mocked me and said she didn't know how anyone besides an "idiot" could believe that. :/

Eventually I DID start avoiding her and she railed at me in novel-length offline messages that left me sobbing, but I couldn't bring myself to subject myself to the drama and emotional abuse and manipulation anymore. I didn't "break up" with her. I just stopped contacting her, and I was SO GLAD I'd never given her my personal information.

A few months later I connected with someone else who I very quickly trusted enough to open up about RL details. This person has become my best friend - a RL best friend who's bailed me out of more than one jam, whom I've met in person, who I feel like is a sister to me. It's taught me to trust my instincts, because all along in Friendship A, something was telling me not to give TOO much away.

And I was definitely right not to. :/

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

Caught a friend-of-a-friend talking shit about me anon, responded anon in a way that made it obvious that it was me, friend admitted it really was FOAF, FOAF and I mutually severed all ties.

In retrospect I wish I'd either cut ties with this person months earlier since they'd been increasingly bitchy to me all year up to that point (but still had no problem tagging along with our mutual friend and I on IRL trips and letting me pay their way, not that I'm bitter about it or anything) or not said anything, since the falling-out basically ruined our whole friends group in that fandom (which I assume was what this person wanted to begin with).

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

[(Anonymous)]

"Celebrating" like 5 months by having breakdowns from missing her so much ahah...