fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3046 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Beyonce Knowles]

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[Blake's 7]

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[Spec Ops: The Line]

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[Cell Block Tango]

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[Mortal Kombat]

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[Captain America/Kingsman: The Secret Service]

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[Blake's 7/"Orbit"]

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[Henry V]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 014 secrets from Secret Submission Post #435.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe I can write about this without it making me all depressed finally. It's been about three years I guess?

I had a really close fandom friend. At the time she was pretty much my ONLY fandom friend because we just connected almost immediately over a shared fandom and shared likes (characters, kinks, storylines, etc). We thought a lot alike and talked about everything, not just fandom. She became my best friend, both in and out of fandom.

Thing is... I was a little on the paranoid side, didn't want to take any chances with my RL ever being connected with my fandom life, and so I gave her my first name only, didn't tell her where I lived, etc. And she told me I was a bad friend and if I was really her friend I should trust her and tell her that stuff - which of course set off my paranoia because why did she NEED to know so bad? :-S

*shakes head at self*

I guess my hesitance set off her insecurity and she started getting very upset when I'd be offline for a half a day or so without chatting, and she'd accuse me of actually being online but invisible to her because I was avoiding her (I wasn't doing that). She told me I wasn't there for her if I'd spend a day with my family instead of online, etc. She told me "You don't understand, you are the most important person in my life" which totally freaked me out.

And yet for being the "most important person in her life", she was pretty derogatory towards me, mocking things I tried to share with her that I liked, getting furious anytime I mentioned my RPF because it was SO MORRALLY WRONG that she could barely stand to talk to me when I mentioned it, etc.

She held certain religious beliefs with which I strongly disagreed personally, but I NEVER criticized her for them or let it affect our friendship. Yet when I finally ventured to tell her MY religious beliefs, she mocked me and said she didn't know how anyone besides an "idiot" could believe that. :/

Eventually I DID start avoiding her and she railed at me in novel-length offline messages that left me sobbing, but I couldn't bring myself to subject myself to the drama and emotional abuse and manipulation anymore. I didn't "break up" with her. I just stopped contacting her, and I was SO GLAD I'd never given her my personal information.

A few months later I connected with someone else who I very quickly trusted enough to open up about RL details. This person has become my best friend - a RL best friend who's bailed me out of more than one jam, whom I've met in person, who I feel like is a sister to me. It's taught me to trust my instincts, because all along in Friendship A, something was telling me not to give TOO much away.

And I was definitely right not to. :/

Aww anon. I'm glad your (rather reasonable IMO) paranoia kept you from revealing too much! Sounds like they had some serious issues which is no excuse for being derogatory to friends. Glad you pulled out, hope you're feeling better about it all?

The weird thing is that I do still miss her sometimes. Every now and then I have the urge to look her up and see how she's doing - but I know better than to open that door again. I'm definitely better off without her in my life. :/

[ SECRET POST #3046 ]

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl

Re: Freedom from toxic ppl