[ SECRET POST #3051 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3051 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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09. http://i.imgur.com/PRt3TMa.jpg
[linked for nsfw (graphic illustrated porn and maybe gore? I can't tell)]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 029 secrets from Secret Submission Post #436.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[purpleseas]

It's the least sexy movie ever made. There are Holocaust movies with more heat, seriously. I mean, I'm not into BDSM and that image doesn't do anything for me, but there are just so many pop songs played over the sex that it's like watching a really long 90s Madonna video. Literally all he does is tie her up, spank or flog her a little bit while pacing around and looking indifferent, then fuck her, once or twice from behind, omg so kinky. It feels really obligatory, and he doesn't seem particularly turned on by it until the end. There's some good unintentional humor in it, though, particularly this bit where he takes a bite of her toast. Dornan is so stiff and uncomfortable and unappealing, while Johnson sells the fuck out of her role, so you're watching this soft, sweet, sensual young woman fall in love with a really basic sexbot that looks constipated all the time. This thing grabs her face like 9000 times and she manages to melt believably every time, it's a hell of a performance. I wouldn't have been surprised to see him revealed as a serial killer at any point, and they lampshade this in funny ways, but he's so incredibly bland and pathetically insecure that there's not even a credible threat there. Holy fuck is he boring.

[thistlechaser]

While I haven't seen the movie, I'm confident saying that your review of it is more entertaining than the movie could ever be.

[purpleseas]

Haha, thanks.