[ SECRET POST #3056 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3056 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #437.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Asexual with a mom who thinks it's "sick and fucked up"...feeling sad

[raspberryrain]

Wow.

OK, sounds like your mother's sex drive is a lot higher than your father's, and she's angry at him for not being as sexually aggressive as she'd like.

That's where a lot of this is coming from. When she says, "They have no right being in relationships, they should just be single if they don't want sex, if they are they need to just do it whether they want to or not because THEY'RE the ones with a problem," she's talking about her frustration with your dad.

That's not a reasonable generalisation on her part. It's her own anger at her own marriage for not conforming to her fantasies.

I don't know how to help her. But you have to accept that whatever relationship you form has to be one which is good for you and for your spouse, or this kind of misery and anger and hatred can grow.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks.

But you have to accept that whatever relationship you form has to be one which is good for you and for your spouse, or this kind of misery and anger and hatred can grow.

I don't know if that "you" was supposed to be directed at me, or just "you" in general, but seeing this kind of toxic resentment firsthand is exactly why any future relationship I have is going to be with another asexual. I know some people can apparently make asexual/non-asexual relationships work but I don't know that I can, and I sure as hell don't want to end up in my parents' situation.

My past relationships have been with people who weren't asexual, and although they ended for mostly non-related reasons, if they'd gone on long enough I'm sure it eventually would've become an issue.

I'm starting to see it as almost like a gay person trying to date someone of the opposite sex. I know it's not a perfect analogy, but it's such a huge thing to not be on the same page as your partner with. Again, if other people can make it work, that's great for them, but for me personally, I just don't think it'd be worth all the potential resentment and anger.