[ SECRET POST #3056 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3056 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #437.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice Column

[a_potato]

Sounds like social anxiety. I used to have a lot of thoughts like that, too (it's better, now, but they still do pop up from time to time). It really sucks, and I'm sorry that you're experiencing it.

I think what you're doing now is a good strategy, especially since it seems to work. Developing narratives that contradict the negative thoughts can help, as well ("no, you're not a bad person. You're a good person. Here's why." "You're not too loud or controlling. Everyone else had fun tonight. Here are some examples"), as can taking deep, calming breaths.

Do you have anyone whom you deeply trust that you can share your thoughts with? Sometimes, when I get really overwhelmed by a thought pattern, I've found sharing it and asking whether it's actually rational can be really helpful. I might not be able to talk myself into letting go of the thought, but they can.

A couple of other things that have helped me:
-making it a point to acknowledge the good things that I do and to dwell on them
-lowering my expectations when it comes to interactions with others (seems counterintuitive, but it's helped me to not feel as if I always have to be "on" or that I need to be perfect. Since I don't expect others to be perfect, and I can recognize that they're not and yet still are loved, I can rationalize the fact that I'm not, either)
-doing mental relaxation exercises (meditation, for example)

I hope at least some of this is helpful! I don't think it's possible to ever make these kinds of thoughts go away entirely, but it's definitely possible to manage them and reduce their impact.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you. This is probably the most concrete advice I've ever gotten on these things. A therapist I visit (not because of social anxiety per se, although it comes up) usually just nods or goes "But that really isn't the case, is it?" which is... not really helpful? At least to me. I know I'm being irrational most of the time, but they just keep coming.

I've contacted a friend, who I know has experience on these things and who is not part of the RP group (I really don't want them to know, which isn't odd I hope) and we talked it over and she made me see positive sides to being loud, which was what was bothering me tonight it seems. She has said I can come talk to her whenever I get these.

I will definitely try to keep these tips in mind (I should probably write them down). I mean, you occasionally see them in those lists that go around tumblr or whatever, but it feels better when it's coming from a person and not just masterlist of dealing with things or whatever. My sincere thanks, again.

Re: Advice Column

[a_potato]

That's great that you have a friend like that who you can talk to.

You're welcome, anon, and good luck! If you're comfortable, let me know how you're doing with it in the future!