[ SECRET POST #3056 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3056 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #437.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. When I read this comment I thought "Damn, it's like they know her!"

She's the type of person who is always the victim and has the most awful life in the world, no one else has it as hard as her. She attacks people for disagreeing with her and then spins it as if SHE'S the wronged party. Her attitude absolutely does not create the kind of atmosphere where you can discuss things with her because she'll flip out the second you say something she doesn't agree with.

Every time she starts her "there's something wrong with someone who doesn't want sex, they have no business being in a relationship, how can they expect someone to love them if they won't have sex?" stuff, even though it's not directed at me, it does make me feel attacked and judged. And it's not like telling her would do any good because then she could just make it even more personal and hurt even more. When you do something that pisses her off, she lashes out in the exact way she knows will hurt you most, so there's no way I can say anything.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Sadly, you've also just described my father there with pretty unnerving accuracy, so while I don't 'know' your mother I most certainly know the behaviors you described here and in your original post.

All I can tell you is to keep reminding yourself that all her lashing out, all her victimization and judgment is not a reflection on you. It's coming from a deep insecurity and emotional immaturity within her. It all speaks of issues she refuses to acknowledge and accept (because people with an ingrained victim complex refuse to take personal responsibility for anything; to do so means they can no longer occupy the passive "but everyone's always awful to innocent, hard-done-by me!" role). Those are the things she's really attacking, she just doesn't have the emotional maturity to do it the right way so you and your feelings are getting caught in the crossfire.

I know it's impossible to be totally unaffected by the hurtful things she says and the upsetting views she holds, but even if it's just sometimes, it'll help you massively if you can put some emotional distance between her actions and you and remind yourself that, despite how it sounds, she's really not talking about you (or your father, for that matter) at all. Whether she ever addresses what she's really frightened of, that depends on her. But in the meantime, don't ever feel bad about doing whatever you need to to protect your own emotional wellbeing.