fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3068 ]

[ SECRET POST #3068 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3068 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy]

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02.

[Wild Kratts]

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03.

[Harry Potter/Fleur Delacour]

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04.

[Jennifer Barkley from Parks&Recreation]

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05.

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06.

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07.

[Handa-kun]

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08. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]

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09. [WARNING for child molestation]

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10. [WARNING for mental illness/suicide]

[It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini]

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11. [WARNING for rape]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #438.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sure, why not.

What's the worst nightmare you've ever had?

It's long and complicated and involves aliens destroying my house! And video games.

That actually sounds kind of awesome. Would you mind summarizing? If not, that's fine. Thanks for answering!

I wrote it out once years ago, had to go back and find it.

Textbox to save space, just c/p it into whatever doc of your choice!

You wake up, in your bed, and it's night time. The thing that woke you up is that every screen in your house is on and glowing -- computers, TV, cell phones, every surface that can serve as some kind of screen. They're all displaying the same thing, a white background and a huge square button with rounded edges in the middle, double-outlined. It says "Blaster." This is fucking weird.

You try to turn the TV on and off and change channels, but nothing happens. You try restarting the computer or calling people on the phone, but nothing happens. You can't turn any of the screens off -- it just goes back to the blank white menu screen with the simple Blaster logo on it. You figure there's nothing you can do and try pushing the button.

Suddenly all the screens change to a really simple game menu. It's also white with two buttons of the same kind as the first screen. There's PLAY and EXIT and that's it. You press EXIT first, but nothing happens -- well besides it making all the screens in the house go back to the logo screen. You keep trying to go back and push EXIT or get the technology to work properly, but everything is still stuck that way. The phone isn't dead, but it's that kind of silence where you know there's someone else on the line, just not saying anything, and calls don't go through.

You suddenly realize there's no one in the house with you, when there should be. Where did everyone else go? You look for them but they're not there -- you look outside and it's not as dark as it's supposed to be. The sky is a weird orange color and everything else is shaded in oranges and browns like sunset, only darker. You think fuck it and throw on some warmer clothes and go out to try and find the neighbors or something, except they're not there either. Nobody is. The whole street is missing and all the cars and bicycles and methods of travel are gone. Past it, you can see the town, and that's empty, too, no lights, no sound, nothing.

And every time you go check another house, every single screen in the neighborhood wants you to play Blaster.

So you go back home because there isn't much else you can do unless you feel like walking for hours, and maybe this is just a crazy nightmare, anyway. You crawl back in bed and try to sleep, except you can't because of the light. You try to turn everything off and pull all the plugs, except it doesn't work. And when you turn your computer monitor in your room to face the wall to block it, you realize that won't work because all the screens have now started getting louder with that humming noise they make, like they're demanding your attention.

All right, fine, you'll play the stupid fucking game. You go to your TV because it's the biggest (it occurs to you that nothing was a touch-screen before but now they ALL suddenly are. How do they expect you to play the game on any screen? Do you need a controller? Whatever), and push the Blaster button in the center of it, then hit PLAY on the second screen. A single-screen tutorial shows up that teaches you what you need to know:

You play the game by using your arms. By slashing one sideways, you do a horizonal cut. By slashing one vertically, you do a vertical cut. By forming your hands into a circle (or two circles) and pushing them toward the screen, you fire bullets. Try to stop the incoming waves before your house is destroyed. Okay, you have no idea what the hell that means, but that's all you get, and then the game starts (once again on every screen in the house, and now reflected onto the windows, but you can still see through them).

The first few levels are easy once you get the hang of it. Stuff drops slowly from the top of the screen, and you're supposed to cut them into smaller pieces while they fall and then taking out the small pieces with the bullets. You do this by flailing your arms like a moron at your TV that is somehow now touch-sensitive AND motion-sensitive -- the game shows up on every other screen, but they don't react to you any more, the TV's become the main console. Okay, that isn't so bad, this isn't so hard.

Except it slowly GETS harder. And eventually you let one of the falling pieces get through, and that's when you notice there's no damage meter or lives or anything like a normal game. It's just the screen, falling pieces, and the bottom. Huh. There's no way to tell when you're going to lose, or how much time or life you have left. The graphics are pretty simple, a white screen with white falling pieces in black outline, that's it. The only thing it has going for it is incredibly realistic sound effects.

It takes a few more misses and you letting some bigger pieces through before you realize those sound effects are incredibly realistic because they're real. You'd been ignoring the random creaks and sounds of the house because that's just normal, but when things start making crashing noises and one of the pieces of twisted metal slides off your roof and into your back yard where you can see it from your window where it's still red and smoking from where it's been neatly cut on the top and left, it starts to sink in. "Try and stop the incoming waves before your house is destroyed." Shit is actually dropping on you.

You run to the window to look outside and there's something there in the sky. You don't know what, but it's in the sky and it's fucking huge, and its size is stopping you from figuring out what the hell it is because it's so fucking big that you can't see it all. While you watch it unloads some more of that weird twisted metal junk that starts falling down toward your house, and it's slowly getting closer, closing up the distance between it and you, meaning you'll have less time to get rid of shit before you're bombed to death. Meanwhile the game's still been going and your TV is flashing red warning lights at you because you've let one of the big enemies through, and you run back but not in time to stop a giant fucking rock from crashing through the roof and landing somewhere upstairs.

All the screens flicker but stay on and the game continues and you start clearing away the enemies again, only you've just hit level 10 and the game's gotten faster. You keep missing the fucking smallest pieces and they end up smashing through the windows and scattering the floor with glass, and you're sure one of the medium pieces landed in the kitchen because the fire alarm's started going off and you think you can smell smoke. All the pieces you shoot away land elsewhere in the neighborhood and your neighbor's houses are being bombarded and burning but you can only really catch glimpses of them because you need to focus on the screen to stop them from landing on your house. There's no use turning and running because there's nowhere to go and you'll just get crushed.

Everything around you is splintering and breaking and your house rocks on its foundations every time you miss a bigger piece. You're pretty sure the upstairs is entirely gone and you don't know how long the downstairs is going to be able to hold its weight that's all uneven now because the beams are shattering. There's an explosion and you can see your computer chair and monitor go crashing down into the backyard from upstairs, but you don't have time to think about that because there's the game to play and your arms have long since started aching but that beats dying. Maybe it'll end at level 20? No. 25? No. 50?

It takes you all the way to 100 before the game is over. You stand there dazed and exhausted, looking up through the hole that used to be your living room ceiling as what's left of your house sways around you, parts of it still burning from before. The rest of the street is gone, razed and burned and crushed to the ground -- you're lucky to even have a single room left standing. Your TV is all that's left unscathed, because you sure as hell haven't been included in the no-fire area and there's glass in your leg and splinters everywhere and you've got a huge bruise across your back where pieces of the ceiling fell in. You're covered in a cold sweat that's even colder because the walls are down and there's a ringing dizziness in your head and you want to collapse but there's nothing to collapse on that isn't covered in debris.

But at least you're alive, and you beat the stupid fucking game. It shows a blank screen of no enemies for a few seconds, then switches to a win screen just as plain as the others -- white background, white text with a black border. Congratulations! You win!

And then you wake up. In your bed, and it's night time. The thing that woke you up is that every screen in your house is on and glowing

Thanks! I will give it a read in a bit. :)

Hair color?

Gray/silver!

Wait, really? Did your hair go gray early, or are you a lot older than I was imagining?

Just bleach and several hours!

5'8"-ish!

weirdest sexual experience?

I put an ice cube in a dude's butt once because he asked me to. He was like OH GOD ITS COLD and I was like you literally just asked me to put an ice cube in your butt, what were you expecting?

I'm sorry, but that's hilarious.

Pf, don't be sorry, I thought it was too.

This is the best story I've ever heard.

loling irl.

How old are you?

28!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A GIANT ROBOT

I gotta say that sounds really cool!

Do you shower facing into the spray or away from?

Scrunch the toilet paper or fold it?

Away from, and fold!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3068 ]

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