fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3075 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3075 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Spy]

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[Eurovision]

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[Captain America]

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14. [SPOILERS for Steven Universe]

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15. [SPOILERS for Age of Ultron]

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16. [SPOILERS for Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and DragonFable]

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17. [WARNING for sexual abuse]

(Duggar Family, 19 kids & Counting)

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18. [WARNING for incest]

[A Redtail's Dream]

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19. [WARNING for rape]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #439.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

small vent about my depression in second comment

Why do my friends and my girlfriend get more judgmental about me drinking when I'm depressed then they do me cutting/burning myself when I am depressed? I self harm way more than I drink, and I am fairly sure they know considering how shitty I am at hiding it (and I have mentioned it to one of my friends so I dont actually assume its a secret). I can cut myself every day without a comment, but I get drunk occasionally and its all "this isn't healthy." Neither is my literal self injury but no one cares about that?

might be a matter of control? depending on how much you drink, it might be more potentially dangerous to you than cutting. cutting is not good ofc but it is manageable and unlikely to cause you serious lasting injury whereas if you are get very drunk you are more likely to hurt yourself gravely, even if it's accidentally

I really don't drink that much, is the thing. I've been drunk once in the past month, and I've never even been dangerously drunk. (Never been blackout, never gotten sick from it, I even try to stay hydrated while drinking usually.) Like, I'm not saying I never self-medicate with alcohol, but I am way worse about my self injury, just objectively.

Honestly? Because drinking is something we've been prepared to combat. There's a million and a half After School Specials that we all grew up with about "what to do" and how to feel if someone close to you is exhibiting signs of alcoholism, so they probably feel more confident in tackling that.

Self-harm is the dirty little secret. No one talks about it, so no one knows how to deal with it when someone they love is doing it. It probably scares them a whole lot more than your drinking, because they don't know where it's coming from-- even if it is the same base as your drinking.

Super-unfortunately, neither one of those symptoms addresses the underlying cause: the depression itself. And since the information that's out there about mental illness is nebulous at best, they probably have zero idea how to even begin to approach it.

I'm sorry you're going through it. But please don't think that they don't care. They wouldn't bother at all if they didn't care. They're just lost.

True. I suppose there is more of a narrative surrounding drinking then self harm (especially since most of the self harm narratives are like, about teenagers doing it and I am definitely not that.)

I am just also annoyed cause basically I found out that my friends have talked about it behind my back before, but only two of them will ever actually reach out to me. It makes it feel like they don't actually care, even if they are just unsure of what to do.

You could try talking to them.

If you are saying "talk to them for help" I stopped doing that the first time someone tried to fix me and then stopped talking to me completely when it didn't work. Its better for everyone if I just act like I'm doing okay when I'm around other people.

If you mean talk to them so they stop talking about me like that, I would just rather not deal with the confrontation, to be honest. Too tiring.

Well, I don't know.

I think cutting is scary but very inwardly directed. Intoxication affects how other people experience being around you. So maybe they're more directly provoked by your drinking?

That said, you just have to talk about it if it bothers you.

[ SECRET POST #3075 ]

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