[ SECRET POST #3080 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3080 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Dead Poets Society]


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[Tobey Macguire]


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[Billy Connolly]


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(Marvel Cinematic Universe/Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.l.D.)


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[Love Live]


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[Life is Strange]


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(Hysterical Literature/Walt Whitman)


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 032 secrets from Secret Submission Post #440.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT, and not calling hypocrite, but I do feel you're reducing some rather complex psychological responses to a very simplistic "well if they're complaining about it, why don't they stop/do something about it?"

Self-sabotage is a thing. Learned helplessness is a thing. Seeking enablers is a thing. And all things like that are arguably an even more difficult addiction to break.

What do you think these people get out of the complaining? What are they expecting you to say? Do they want their own frame of mind reinforced (this can also be negative reinforcement, such as you criticizing their behavior 'proving' to them that they're never going to improve so why bother? Why not just continue the destructive behavior just to prove that they couldn't do anything better anyway)?

Of course, none of this means you ought to just play along with this and give them whatever they need to continue the destructive behavior. It's exhausting and frustrating to deal with people like that, and sometimes for your own mental well-being you need to detach and make your boundaries very clear.

I'm just saying it's not always as simplistic as you're making it seem.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not saying it's simplistic. I never once said it was

I am frustrated that I'm expected to listen - and be the enabler and emotional support - or else I'm rude

[(Anonymous)]

Then like I said, you make your boundaries clear and you stick to them, even if that means they think you're rude.

You make a choice. Stay frustrated or back off. There is no happy choice when you're dealing with people like this.

Life's about compromise. Sorry if that memo didn't reach your desk.