[ Secret Post #384 ]

[degrees.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #384 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Phoenix Wright fans, check it out!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 50 secrets from Secret Submission Post #055.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 ] broken links, [ 1 2 ] not!secrets, 0 not!fandom, [ 1 ] I don't either.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Friday, January 25th, 2008.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

4

[baka-deshi.livejournal.com]

Hm...I feel for you here, though it's hard to know where to begin. Really, making friends online is just like making friends IRL - you do have to suck it up and take chances sometimes, and sometimes you will be disappointed by the response. One thing that really might help is to go ahead and take that scary first step into contacting the people you find interesting outside of pure LJ contact...all my close fandom friends are people I chat with or text on a daily basis, for example. It's so much easier to come to know someone when you are contacting them more frequently than occasional comments on LJ. Email can be a good compromise on that end - some friends I just email endlessly in long threads of private convo. It's just really hard to get very personal on LJ where posts are public, you know?

Also, you might need to work on your own confidence, it seems...your secret references a fear of being flamed no fewer than three times? I don't know you, but that first impression definitely gives me the feeling that you're very very afraid of being rejected...and honestly? If you're wearing that fear on your sleeve when you go into an interaction with someone on the net, they tend to back way off. If you start off too clingy, you give the impression you are too insecure to trust the other person - and nobody wants a friend insecure in the fact that you are pals. (For one - are you entirely sure your nonresponsive friends are AWARE you're unhappy with the current situation? If you haven't said anything, they might not be f^^)

Anyway, best of luck to you! Here's hoping you too can meet awesome people on LJ that you eventually turn into RL buddies - I know I have :)

4 OP

[(Anonymous)]

This is a good approach, too. But I have attempted IM with one of them and they...really didn't seem interested. So it did make me back off a little. However...all this encouragement I am receiving is making me want to try again. I think you're right when you say that...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I just have to learn when enough is enough, that I tried my best, and move on.

My confidence is...really nonexistent. Yes, you're right. But I do not show that to anyone. My comments, entries, everything are really pleasant and not clingy at all. The difference is there are a few people on my flist that I am comfortable around so I aim my entries at them (as in, like they are the only ones reading) and it makes me comfortable posting. But when I decided to submit a secret here? Well...I lurk a lot here and I see people flame secret posters and some OPs I don't think meant to come off negative (or deserve such flames). F!S is outside my comfort zone, basically. I also...was afraid people would misinterpret my secret as attention whoring. I really wasn't sure what responses I was going to get.
As for the last point- no. My unresponsive friends have no idea how I feel. But a few I am not comfortable admitting that to since they never bother to reply to comments I leave them. I fear it would be too out of the blue, you know?

I will keep trying of course, because I am not one to give up and I really appreciate all the advice I've gotten. I also thank you for given me kind, honest advice. :)
And I'm so sorry I made this such a long reply. x.x!