[ SECRET POST #3085 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3085 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #441.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[elaminator]

Ooo, I've known people like that. Once had a friend who wouldn't read or watch LOTR but hated it. I never ever bugged them to read or watch it, and I got into the habit of not ever mentioning it, but they would still manage to bring it up to tell me how stupid it looked.

It is perfectly okay to not like something, but if you know your friend is into something you aren't, it's probably best to not discuss that thing on a regular basis. Maybe tell them you don't want to discuss it and if they don't get the hint try changing topics. Hopefully they'll understand where you're coming from.

[(Anonymous)]

And sometimes they never grow out of it. My father has begun to study piano (at 70+!), and I've always wanted to get back to it. I spend about 12 weeks a year out east visiting my folks, so I decided to start taking lessons from his teacher when I'm there, and practicing on my own the rest of the time. His teacher is amenable, so I started last month.

She's a good teacher, but she can hardly let a lesson go by without mentioning the fact that she thinks everything written after maybe 1880 is unmusical dreck, and it's getting pretty old.

[elaminator]

Uh, wow. I can see why you chose her (it's convenient, and if she's a good teacher and is doing her job then at least you're getting something out of it), but it also sounds frustrating. Have you told her you disagree and asked her to focus on the lesson instead? You are paying her, right? Unless she's volunteering to do this for free, it seems like she would have to respect your opinions; if you ask her to stop, she should.

Not that I don't understand wanting to avoid conflict, and after a certain point people should be able to move on and talk about something else anyway, but some just have difficulty letting go.

[(Anonymous)]

I've not told her I disagree--in general, I have a hard time with exchanges like this, especially when the person who's annoying me is so much older than I am, so the internalized message to respect my elders is at war with my sense that those same elders are the ones being rude.

[elaminator]

While I understand where you are coming from (my first instinct is to ignore the annoying thing, unless it is something I absolutely cannot stand behind and need to speak up about), I don't find it disrespectful to say, "You have every right to that opinion, but I don't agree with it and I'd appreciate if we could change the subject." As long as you aren't hostile then they should take it for what it is (a friendly request for a change in conversation).

Because as people have said elsewhere in this thread, even if you aren't offended by their words, if someone goes on and on it CAN get old and it isn't unreasonable to bring it up.

[(Anonymous)]

Aaack! I try to picture myself saying it and I just caaaaaan't!

[elaminator]

Maybe one day anon. Maybe one day.

[(Anonymous)]

Too much early training to be a doormat.

[elaminator]

I am skilled in the art of doormat training as well, but practice helps some!