[ SECRET POST #3086 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3086 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Bit early, sorry!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #441.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Asexuality in fandom usually equates to can't pluck up courage to talk to a girl so must be asexual, therefore solitary characters must be asexual because then that makes them perfect icons of perfectness. Eventually the fan gets a girl or boyfriend (or a girlyboyfriend) and asexuality vanishes in a puff of hormones. And don't even get me started on those asshole MRAs who claim to have been made involuntarily asexual due to radical feminists!

[(Anonymous)]

ie Spencer Reid in Criminal Minds... who I've repeatedly seen head-canoned as asexual, despite us seeing him attracted to people on the show...

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I've seen that a lot, too, and though I never felt too strongly about it, I sort of could see it? I haven't watched the show in a few seasons so I may be wrong about this, but from what I can remember, while he did seem to be interested in having a romantic relationship, I don't remember anything that implied they necessarily had to be sexual. At least, I don't remember him making comments that made it seem like he really cared about sex while the other characters definitely did. Things may be different now, though.

The most common ones I see are BBC Sherlock and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, where either the showrunner has said or it's been mentioned in canon itself that they're not actually asexual.

[(Anonymous)]

Wait, I thought you were talking about characters but this:

Eventually the fan gets a girl or boyfriend (or a girlyboyfriend) and asexuality vanishes in a puff of hormones.

Are you saying that actual people only claim to be asexual until they get a significant other? That's...not exactly how it works.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

But I took that line to mean is the people who headcanon characters as asexual merely for the whole purity aspect often abandon it when they personally discover that hey, they like sex, so sex isn't so dirty anymore.

I may be way off, but that was my interpretation.

[diet_poison]

And don't even get me started on those asshole MRAs who claim to have been made involuntarily asexual due to radical feminists!

haha

hahahaha

what?

link pls? I feel like falling down the rabbit hole tonight

[(Anonymous)]

na

I don't think this is exactly what they're talking about, but the INCEL (involuntary celibacy) crowd is always amusing/terrifying:
http://www.involuntarycelibacy.com/

http://www.salon.com/2014/05/27/inside_the_terrifying_twisted_online_world_of_involuntary_celibates/

https://survivingincel.wordpress.com/ (honestly can't tell if this one is serious or not)

[diet_poison]

eeeeesh.

those poor, poor manbabies because women don't like being raped.

[(Anonymous)]

I thought the first link was parody at first (the way they quoted the Wikipedia article!). I thought it was purposely trying to mimic the news-bulletin-style, "here's a dangerous thing you may not have known about!" scare-mongering (like the classic joke about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide -- all true things, just stated in a way to sound serious. But the rest of the site seemed serious enough.

May be a stupid question, but I'm just wondering -- what is it about sex that's better than just masturbating? Personally, I wouldn't call a state where I'm unable to have sex with someone "involuntary celibacy" -- I'd still be masturbating and consider that not entirely celibate or a period of sexual denial. I can understand missing the emotional connection of having a partner during sex, or missing certain sex acts, but overall, I find masturbating a kind of sex, I guess. Am I just unusual in that opinion? Maybe I'm compartmentalizing sex and romance too much, i.e. when most people say, "Ugh, I really could use some sex right now!" the notion of emotional intimacy is wrapped up in that frustration, rather than just meaning "I'm horny -- gonna go scratch that itch"?

[(Anonymous)]

It's not just the emotional intimacy part. There's a bunch of other sensations during sex, because you're touching, kissing, and holding another person, and they're touching, kissing, and holding you. And someone else touching you feels different from YOU touching you, if that makes any sense.

So, like, masturbation is great, but sometimes you want all of those other physical sensations, too, and you can only get them with sex.

[(Anonymous)]

Interesting, I always thought the enjoyment of those were somehow tied to an emotional connection or appreciation (like, "this living being unexpectedly touched me -- I feel loved" or something like that).

IN ANY CASE, I can see how masturbation wouldn't be the same as sex, but it's always seemed like a kind of quasi-sex to me? Maybe I'm just weird in that, but it makes me curious why I clearly have a different notion of celibacy than other people.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

About your second paragraph, I agree with you. "Someone else touching you feels different than you touching you" like the person above me says...not really. At least not for me. To me it's basically the same so I don't get why everyone makes such a huge deal out of not being able to have sex, but obviously I'm...unusual in that regard.

Maybe I'm compartmentalizing sex and romance too much, i.e. when most people say, "Ugh, I really could use some sex right now!" the notion of emotional intimacy is wrapped up in that frustration, rather than just meaning "I'm horny -- gonna go scratch that itch"?

I think that's probably part of it with me. "Scratching an itch" is pretty much exactly how I'd describe sex (and masturbation too for that matter). Romance and emotional intimacy are separate things entirely and not required for sex. (At least for me.)

[(Anonymous)]

What whiny babies. "Involuntary celibacy"? What happened to just good old-fashioned "can't get laid"? Giving it a fancy name just makes it sound even more pathetic.