case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-06-20 03:49 pm

[ SECRET POST #3090 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3090 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #442.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
raspberryrain: (raised eyebrow)

[personal profile] raspberryrain 2015-06-21 07:18 am (UTC)(link)
I think I'm trying to be less judgemental than the person who said "get new friends" (and, I thought, implied "ditch your old friends"). And people keep thinking I'm being more judgemental.

Part of maturity is understanding that not everyone is as mature as you are, and learning how to handle them graciously.

You don't have to just cut people off.

(Anonymous) 2015-06-21 07:33 am (UTC)(link)
sometimes handling someone graciously and being mature means owning up to your feelings and ending a friendship that genuinely makes you unsatisfied rather than going through a half-assed charade where you pretend to want someone's friendship and they eventually catch on to the fact that you're not into it. If by "cut people off" you just mean that it's rude to suddenly one day...idk, stop replying to someone's texts/whatever and just never speak to them again without addressing any problem you have with them, then I agree with you. But in general it's okay to let a friendship end when it ceases to be fulfilling on any level. Friendship isn't some lifelong contract

(Anonymous) 2015-06-21 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't have to, but not cutting people off isn't necessarily a sign of maturity. I'd actually say it's the opposite, because usually as you get older, you realize that you don't HAVE to be friends with everyone. Your time is precious, and you can choose to spend it on people who make you happy, people you get along with without even low levels of acrimony.

You may still have to learn how to handle difficult relatives, co workers and employers graciously, but friends? You can choose to be friends with whomever you want. Likewise, you can choose not to be friends with whomever you want. You're being just as judgmental as the anon you were replying to. Arguably more, because as you've discovered, very few people like being told they ought to remain in a relationship because you think it's more mature to stay.