fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3100 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3100 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Assassin's Creed Syndicate, Dishonored 2]

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03.

[Gaia Online]

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04.

[Brendon Urie, Panic! at the Disco (+P!nk, Teresa Marie)]

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05.

[Winona Ryder in Heathers]

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06.

[Orphan Black]

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07.

[Miraculous Ladybug]

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08.

[The Mentalist]

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09.

[Legend]

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10.

[Spy (2015)]

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11.

[Bridget Marquardt, Girls Next Door]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ummm....this doesn't happen?

Lots of white kids who can't find jobs after college, for example, move in with their parents.

Not to mention how many kids continue to get help from their parents: staying on their medical/auto insurance or still being on the family telephone plan.

"Ummm....this doesn't happen?"

Maybe where YOU live it doesn't happen.

If it's the United States, well...it's pretty easy to get data on the number of 20s-somethings that are moving back in with their parents. Given that it's record numbers, parents can hardly be accused of not caring.

Either way, I don't know why you were generalizing "white people." Why not just say in your country?

I'm in the US. I know lots of kids being resented for moving in with their parents or still living with them past 18, but it gets worse as you get older. If you're 20 and still living with our parents, you're seen as lazy, unmotivated, etc. Even if you're busting your ass at work.

...But their parents are still helping them. They've hardly been abandoned. I agree that the stereotypes are unjust but parents aren't cutting their kids off.

Living at home =/= being kicked to the curb with no support
Social stigma of living at home =/= being kicked to the curb with no support

I agree the stigma sucks and is undeserved, but your example doesn't support your claim at all.

nayrt - Okay. Where do you live that this happens?

US of A. I know three people whose parents are only grudgingly letting them live there but keep passive-aggressively asking about their apartment searches.

Three people is not exactly representative of all middle class and upper-middle class white people, now is it? You've got a beef, I get it. It's a reasonable beef. But you're letting emotions cloud your logic here.

Ah, three people. I understand now how you can extrapolate that to include all middle class, white people. Truly that makes perfect sense.

Mom and Dad want you to move out, huh?

Yeah no it does. I am watching a friend being badgered about when she's moving out because she hit 18. Nevermind that her job doesn't pay enough for her to and she's paying rent.

That's not a "white people" thing though -- talk to people from Eastern Europe for example.

Even in the US, record numbers of kids are living at home with their parents. That's hardly abandoning them.

That. Doesn't mean they actually care or want them there.

Well of course they don't want them there -- they want them to have a stable career and independence. I'm sure the kids feel the same way and want those things too. That hardly takes away from the fact that the parents ARE helping them out, not hanging them out to dry.

NAYRT

See, this whole concept of parents begrudging their kids for living with them into adulthood is really weird to me, because I come from a culture where you're EXPECTED to live with your parents until you get married (and if you don't get married, you're basically expected to live with them forever).

But wanting your children to be independent as adults doesn't mean that you're "begrudging" their living with you: it's that self-reliance is regarded as an intrinsic good.

And TBQH, a culture where you're expected to live with your parents until you get married (or forever) is not exactly an unmixed blessing. That was the Greek immigrant culture my mom was from, and it involved parents begrudging their children--particularly their daughters--any move toward independent adulthood. I mean, I have aunts who can't drive and who have never lived on their own, worked for anyone but family members, or made a decision by themselves.

But living with your parents doesn't mean you aren't independent. I and a couple of my friends live with our parents because they are older and need help with household things sometimes. We all have jobs and are financially independent, we just decided that it was better for everyone involved that we live there to help out instead of hiring someone else to do it.

That's a good point, but the subject of the thread was not financially independent adult children who live with their parents in order to provide the parents with help and support. It was parents who want their children to move out when the kids turn 18--whether because they no longer care about or want to support their children, as the OP believes, or because they see self-reliance as a positive value and want their children to develop it. In the scenario OP was ranting about, the kids who were being "kicked to the curb" were very obviously not independent.

[ SECRET POST #3100 ]

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