fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3100 ]

[ SECRET POST #3100 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3100 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Assassin's Creed Syndicate, Dishonored 2]

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03.

[Gaia Online]

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04.

[Brendon Urie, Panic! at the Disco (+P!nk, Teresa Marie)]

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05.

[Winona Ryder in Heathers]

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06.

[Orphan Black]

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07.

[Miraculous Ladybug]

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08.

[The Mentalist]

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09.

[Legend]

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10.

[Spy (2015)]

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11.

[Bridget Marquardt, Girls Next Door]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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The way middle class and upper-middle class white people stop giving a shit about their kids and kick them to the curb and refuse to offer them any further support once they've reached some arbitrary age mark (18 is the standard, I think), is really fucking bizarre.

Ummm....this doesn't happen?

Lots of white kids who can't find jobs after college, for example, move in with their parents.

Not to mention how many kids continue to get help from their parents: staying on their medical/auto insurance or still being on the family telephone plan.

"Ummm....this doesn't happen?"

Maybe where YOU live it doesn't happen.

If it's the United States, well...it's pretty easy to get data on the number of 20s-somethings that are moving back in with their parents. Given that it's record numbers, parents can hardly be accused of not caring.

Either way, I don't know why you were generalizing "white people." Why not just say in your country?

I'm in the US. I know lots of kids being resented for moving in with their parents or still living with them past 18, but it gets worse as you get older. If you're 20 and still living with our parents, you're seen as lazy, unmotivated, etc. Even if you're busting your ass at work.

...But their parents are still helping them. They've hardly been abandoned. I agree that the stereotypes are unjust but parents aren't cutting their kids off.

Living at home =/= being kicked to the curb with no support
Social stigma of living at home =/= being kicked to the curb with no support

I agree the stigma sucks and is undeserved, but your example doesn't support your claim at all.

nayrt - Okay. Where do you live that this happens?

US of A. I know three people whose parents are only grudgingly letting them live there but keep passive-aggressively asking about their apartment searches.

Three people is not exactly representative of all middle class and upper-middle class white people, now is it? You've got a beef, I get it. It's a reasonable beef. But you're letting emotions cloud your logic here.

Ah, three people. I understand now how you can extrapolate that to include all middle class, white people. Truly that makes perfect sense.

Mom and Dad want you to move out, huh?

Yeah no it does. I am watching a friend being badgered about when she's moving out because she hit 18. Nevermind that her job doesn't pay enough for her to and she's paying rent.

That's not a "white people" thing though -- talk to people from Eastern Europe for example.

Even in the US, record numbers of kids are living at home with their parents. That's hardly abandoning them.

That. Doesn't mean they actually care or want them there.

Well of course they don't want them there -- they want them to have a stable career and independence. I'm sure the kids feel the same way and want those things too. That hardly takes away from the fact that the parents ARE helping them out, not hanging them out to dry.

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-30 23:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-01 03:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-01 19:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-02 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

This is a really weird misconception on your part. That doesn't happen, at least not very often.

The parents of a friend did that some months ago, but once it was obvious he was having a hard time they helped him to get a better job.

I think they just wanted him to become independent and that's all nice, but imo that's an awful way to "motivate" their kid to do it.

I am very sorry your parents did this to you, but that doesn't make a trend among middle class and upper-middle class white people. Your parents suck, that's all.

OP

lolwut? I never once said that it happened to me personally. I'm not a middle-class white person, and my parents are good people who DO give a shit about me. Sadly, the same cannot be said about most of my white middle-class friends, which was what prompted me to express this opinion in the first place.

Your reading comprehension needs some work, dude.

Except we've already established that "most of your white middle-class friends" amounts to all of three people, and even if it were all five of your white middle-class friends, that would not be a representative sample from which to judge white middle-class attitudes.

Also, you don't know that parents who want their adult children to live independently don't care just as much about their kids as yours care about you--they're just looking to further their children's good in a different way. Your parents want you to enjoy the material comforts of home; those parents may want their children to enjoy the benefits of self-reliance. Conversely, parents who want their children to stay at home forever may not give a shit about their children's actual welfare: maybe they just want their children tethered to them and needing them for their entire lives.

The thee friends anon, and I'm actually a different person entirely. But sure.

Their parents want them to ~just be independent~ and that's why they're verbally abusive about how useless and shit their kids are for not leaving at 18.

And I was addressing the OP, not you--the person who was making this massive generalization based on three friends who actually are living at home, with parents who are supporting them. OP's proof that the parents have "stopped giving a shit about their kids" is that the parents are "passive-aggressively" asking their kids how their apartment hunting is going. Verbal abuse did not enter into it, unless you consider that verbal abuse.

Some parents are doubtless verbally abusive toward their children who haven't yet moved out of the house. That's a shame. But that doesn't mean there are no good reasons for wanting your child to strike out on their own. Plus, under the guise of being "supportive," a parent may encourage their adult child to stay at home for any number of very bad reasons.

All right, my mistake, I apologize. You just seemed a little too... how should I say... caught up in this scenario to the point where your reasoning is neither accurate or rational. For example, you take the three situations that you're personally aware of and conflated it to the level of a thing that middle class and upper-middle class white people do. That's a very big leap in logic that doesn't usually happen unless someone's bringing some emotional baggage into it.

I'm sorry for your friends and their situations. But the reason why they're stuck is because of their respective families, not because it's a middle class and upper-middle class white people tradition.

Yeah it's an interesting cultural thing, huh? Where I live it is common for multiple generations of families to live together out of necessity because the cost of living is so high. Land is scarce and ups the prices of homes. A lot of people are remodeling their homes to accommodate the additional kids, etc.

My parents did this. It's been interesting to listen to them comparing me needing help paying for life-saving surgery to my sister asking to borrow money to buy a horse she liked.

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