fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3100 ]

[ SECRET POST #3100 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3100 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Assassin's Creed Syndicate, Dishonored 2]

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03.

[Gaia Online]

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04.

[Brendon Urie, Panic! at the Disco (+P!nk, Teresa Marie)]

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05.

[Winona Ryder in Heathers]

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06.

[Orphan Black]

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07.

[Miraculous Ladybug]

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08.

[The Mentalist]

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09.

[Legend]

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10.

[Spy (2015)]

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11.

[Bridget Marquardt, Girls Next Door]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think the actual number of asexual people are very low and that most people who claim tobe ace either have a low sex drive (possibly due to depression) or haven't found someone they're compatible with. I still try to treat them as though I take their self identification at face value, but deep down I have a hard time believing this.

What about aces with annoying sex drives who masturbate but simply aren't attracted to other people and have no desire to do anything with them?

Welcome to being an asshole.

*too concerned with what other people are or are not doing with their assholes

Keeping my negative opinions to myself (except for this thread about UNPOPULAR opinions) and trying to treat people how they wish to be treated is being an asshole? I hope you find a cozy sanctuary for yourself, because the rest of the world is going to be a real hard place for you.

Personally I think most people who claim to be asexual are actually just guys who haven't had the courage to ask a girl out and think she ought to drop in their lap, but since that doesn't happen then they'll angrily claim to be asexual and claim they are celibate by choice instead of just unable to get laid.

I've never met a guy who calls him self asexual. Only women.

Are you kidding, go onto any gamersite and it is full of them. Angry asexuals and "involuntary celibate"s are pretty much wall-to-wall on them. Female asexuals are more common on tumblr, I'll admit, though.

"Involuntary celibates" are in no way, shape or form the same thing as asexuals, JFC.

Try telling them that, not me. That is why I think they are all full of bullshit and bile.

This is why it's been a couple years since I realized and I still haven't told anyone I'm asexual yet. Even "real" asexuals who are "allowed" to claim the label because they adopted it before it was "mainstream" (all quote marks are reflections of their own attitude) say exactly what you just said.

Not doing something for fear of other people having negative opinions about it doesn't seem like a good way to live your life, but it's your choice.

I agree. I also think that the internet has caused people to not look more into why they are asexual. Low or no sex drives can be indicative of some very bad mental and physical disorder/diseases.

Ha ha, most people with any kind of serious disorder know they have one and do get it checked if they can, and probably asexuality is one of the first things that gets addressed when they do because it's considered so horrible. But surprise, lots of people work on getting help for their disorders and are still asexual. And if they're happy and healthy, why does asexuality by itself need checking out?

If they're happy and healthy, it doesn't need checking out. But plenty of people self diagnose and decide that because they have a low/nonexistent sex drive, that must mean they're asexual. It doesn't necessarily. It can be a symptom of any number of conditions that ought to be checked out. If they're ruled out the pertinent health conditions, then yay, live long and prosper, etc.

1) A low/non-existent sex drive is not the same thing as being asexual, it's about a lack of sexual attraction to other people. Asexual people can and do have sex drives.

2) If the low/non-existent sex drive is the result of a disorder or disease it's very unlikely that that's going to the be ONLY symptom. If they have other symptoms alongside the low/no sex drive, then by all means, get it checked out. But if not having a sex drive, or a very high one, is the only thing "wrong" with them, and they're okay with it, it's not necessarily an issue. And again, that's not the same thing as being asexual.

Have you seen some of the definition of "asexuality" on the internet?

I guess? There are plenty of different definitions people use, but that doesn't change the fact that some of them are wrong.

Spoiler: it is because they have the Sperg. Self-diagnosed, natch. It makes them speshul.

IA if we're talking about tumblr asexuals.

In fact I think tumblr asexuals are the new lj bisexuals. They just pick the trending label because they aren't sure and they think "it somehow fits" it's better even if it "fits" in a very superficial way.
And on top of that, their insecurity holds them back from any serious thought about it.

I don't even think it's the lack of sex drive but the lack of self esteem that fuels many tumblr asexual "identities." I know so many self-identified asexuals on tumblr who regularly write about how hideous and unappealing and disgusting they are and how no one will ever love them/self-pitying teenager posts. I don't think it's difficult to believe a significant number of them are otherwise typical teenage girls who have decided their self-worth is so non-existent that they don't deserve a relationship and clamor onto the asexual label. I feel sorry for them, honestly.

I feel sorry for them, too. Self-loathing and low self esteem tends to screw up one's judgment and ability to assess yourself objectively. I have a sneaking suspicion that most of those girls will learn to love themselves and feel more secure in themselves as they get older, and surprise! They're not asexual anymore.

I'm a 41 year old asexual, I wonder when I'm going to grow out of it.

Or, you know, the lack of self esteem and the deciding "their self-worth is so non-existent that they don't deserve a relationship" is BECAUSE of their sexuality, not the other way around. They lack self esteem because their sexuality makes them feel broken and people like you saying shit like this just makes that even worse. If they think they don't deserve a relationship it's because they think no one's going to want them because of their sexuality. They feel horrible about themselves because people like you "feel sorry for them" and they have all of society making them feel like there's something wrong with them.

It's like how people used to (well, at least used to more than they do now, because plenty of people still do) point to depressed gay people, and say "Look, they're depressed, it's because something's wrong with them!" No, they're depressed because they have people telling them there's something wrong with them. That's not the same thing. Stop doing that shit and all these self loathing and self esteem issues will go away.

Agreed, tbh. I have yet to meet someone who identifies as asexual and isn't majorly socially awkward/emotionally immature or who doesn't have self-esteem or self-perception issues.

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[ SECRET POST #3100 ]

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