fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3109 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3109 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Sense8]

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03.

[Gatchaman Crowds]

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[Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog]

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[Twin Peaks]

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[Blue Beetle]

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[Metroid]

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[God, the Devil and Bob]

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[The Cell (2000)]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #444.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If a guy is in denial about his sexuality and marries a woman, and she dies, and after her death he finally comes to terms with liking dudes and he tells people he never loved her, does that make him an awful, heartless person?

No?

Unless you think anyone saying they never loved a person is intrinsically a horrible thing. It's okay to not love people.

It'd definitely be classier if he refrained from saying he never loved her, but I don't think it qualifies him as evil, just kinda douchey on that subject.

I'd judge him pretty hard for it, yeah.

It's usually considered a bad thing to speak ill of the dead, but I don't really buy that this is "speaking ill" of someone. It's being honest.

Also, context, company and tone are a very important part of this equation. Whose business is it really that he never loved his first wife? If this is something said in confidence to friends or his new lover? Is he remorseful? Is it something he tweets to the world?

All of these things matter in how we judge if a person is really "heartless" in an action.

Yea, not loving someone doesn't make you an awful, heartless person, and it's not wrong to want to be yourself, but I do think there are ways to be insensitive about it.

We don't have enough context to decide though. (And people can make mistakes without being the worst kind of scum, but again, I'm not willing to judge from this example. Saying "I was never sexually attracted to or romantically in love with my wife" to a lover is a lot different than tweeting insulting things about her.)

Maybe a little, because while it's okay not to love someone, there is absolutely no need to be that insensitively blunt after her death. Why not just live your life happy in the newfound knowledge that you like dudes? Why rub it in to the people who presumably knew and cared about her that she was living a lie?

If he called up her parents and told them that, then yeah, it would be pretty heartless. Why is it necessary for him to tell people he never loved her?

+1. Like, it's okay for him to realize that he's gay but it just seems kind of mean to go around like "lol I never loved my late wife" (I mean, I think it would be okay if he said that he didn't love her romantically if that came up in conversation, but I imagine he probably would have loved her on some level in a platonic way.)

Yes.

Well, to qualify: he can tell people he's close to who don't know her, in order to be honest about himself. But telling her family/friends is just douchey. He married her in the first place and basically lied to her for the rest of her life, which is bad enough. It'd be such an insult to say something like that after her death IMO.

no.

it is impossible for people to be heartless and still be alive.

hope that helps.

[ SECRET POST #3109 ]

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