[ SECRET POST #3113 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3113 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #445.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. http://i.imgur.com/8bDKCXJ.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I dunno. You wouldn't have to be harsh about it, but it might be beneficial for your friend to see an example of a person who's not quite so caught up in fandom. Maybe talk to her about something else you love, or a non-fandom mutual interest? Chances are your friend will mature a little and find a bit more detachment in her fandom obsessions, but it'd probably be better for her if this happens sooner rather than later.

[(Anonymous)]

If her friend is using fandom as an escapism because of some trouble she's going through in her life, I don't think anyone else ought to come in and try to remove it from her. I doubt "maturity" is the issue here. Sometimes people are aware of their coping methods, and sometimes they need them in order to cope with other stuff in their life.

OP, my suggestion is to let her know you're not into the fandom anymore, but you're still willing to take an interest in stuff that interest her, the way friends do. I used to have a friend who loved fashion which I couldn't care less about, but I still enjoyed listening to her talk about it because she got so excited about it.

[(Anonymous)]

That's nice. I didn't say anything about removing fandom from her life, though, I said that it might be beneficial for her to find a little more emotional detachment from fandom. Escapism can indeed be helpful, but when you find yourself in the position that your escapism stresses you out and drastically alters your mood for the worse like OP describes, then it's not a very good coping mechanism.

[(Anonymous)]

Hate to say it, but a fandom is the same as any hobby you are personally passionate about. That's it. You're a fan of something.

[(Anonymous)]

I have no idea what this blather is supposed to mean in relation to the secret. It sounds like you're trying to claim that being so obsessed with your fandom that you stress over fandom things--and effectively guilt your friend into pretending to be equally invested, for fear of hurting you--is just what any "passionate" fan does. You can enjoy a hobby and even think of yourself as "passionate" about it without carrying it to the point that a friendship is ruined for you if your friend doesn't share it--that's what normal, reasonable people do.

[(Anonymous)]

And like any hobby, it's entirely possible to be too involved with fandom to the point where it's no longer good for you.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly!

[(Anonymous)]

This secret feels like it could have been made about me, and that scares me. Fandom is my current escapism (let's just say fandom is my healthiest form of it) I would really hope any fandom!friend I had would just tell me the truth instead of this BS. No one likes a bold-faced lair, secret maker.

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't call secret maker a bold-faced liar--that's something I would reserve for a person making a calculated ploy to manipulate the person they're dealing with. Whereas OP's friend seems to get obsessive and hugely upset about fandom disagreements, to the point where she'd even be upset if OP weren't just as obsessive as she. So OP is basically being guilted into pretending to care as much as she formerly did about their shared fandom, to spare friend's feelings. As far as I can see, there is no nice way OP can tell her friend that she no longer has that level of interest without friend being hurt over it.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know. I'd like a lair, but then I've always had a thing for secret hideouts.


On a more serious note, it's great that you'd welcome hearing the truth from a friend, but you know, not everyone does. Especially when it's something they might not want to hear. It doesn't make OP a bold-faced liar, it just means they're reluctant to try to volunteer the truth when it might backfire on them. That's entirely sensible.