case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-07-20 07:12 pm

[ SECRET POST #3120 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3120 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #446.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: question for lgbt/queer people

(Anonymous) 2015-07-21 09:30 am (UTC)(link)
I'm a lesbian.

Feminism doesn't have a single definition. Ask a hundred feminists what they think feminism is, you could get a hundred different answers. To me, feminism really should be about pursuing equality of the genders and dismantling harmful gender stereotypes. The focus may be women (because women generally get the more raw end of the deal) but I think it's integral that it include men, too. Because unlike some feminists, I think the system of sexism is perpetuated by both men and women, and both men and women suffer for it.

As far as gay issues. I think feminism is generally supportive, but the radical man-hating crowd, who I like to think don't represent feminism, can be really alienating. Since gay people by definition are pushing gender norms, I think they ought to be part of the movement. But yeah if anything, the feminism I see on the internet tends to be the really radical ones that try to be so progressive, they end up being exclusive.
elialshadowpine: (Default)

Re: question for lgbt/queer people

[personal profile] elialshadowpine 2015-07-21 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, this is why I'm very cautious about what feminist groups I'm part of (oddly, the most reasonable ones I've found have been on FetLife). As long as an ally isn't trying to take over the conversation... we kinda need allies. Every minority group does, because as much as it annoys the fuck out of me, people will listen to allies over people of the minority group. If an ally is able to change minds, great! (I'd much prefer people be able to listen to actual minorities, but that's... just not the case a lot of the time.)

I identify as a somewhat radical feminist, but even I find that a lot of them are especially ridiculous. I am cautious of men who make this big deal about being feminists, because they are often try to take over the conversation or are using it as a Nice Guy tactic to get into bed with women, but there are others who are actually trying to help, and they shouldn't get tarred with the same brush. I do not care for exclusivity, and various forms of feminism are especially so (thinking of TERFs here, among others). I have myself been excluded and told I was a traitor to my gender because my partner at the time was an AMAB non-binary person. The response being, from AFAB genderqueers no less, that AMAB genderqueers were just faking it to "escape their male privilege"... while at the same time being extremely (justifiably) vicious towards people who made similar comments about trans women.

I've also been told that I have "passing privilege" because my non-binary partners have had difficulty expressing androgyny because most of the common suggestions and clothing options you see are masculine based, meant for AFAB people. I was like, "Wait... you're telling me that because my partner is constantly misgendered as male, I have passing privilege?" and they said yes. I'm like... fuck that shit. I am interested in women and primarily feminine-identifying non-binary people, and I don't particularly care about body. Somehow, this makes me a gender traitor to some feminists. I've been told this more than once... even after I have mentioned that I have a fiancee and girlfriend and I am regularly out in public with them being openly affectionate (so just how am I passing?), but somehow that doesn't count. Sigh.