[ SECRET POST #3125 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3125 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #447.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

But the suffering he put your family through is your family's problem, not HIS problem.

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

The suffering is the result of HIS problems, though.

If he didn't have a problem, our family wouldn't suffer.

And that he's in denial about it means it's never going to be fixed.

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

Then maybe it's time for your family to give your dad an ultimatum? Either he gets help, or the family breaks up.

Which is a simplistic answer, I'm not you and don't know what you're going through, anon, but if it involves domestic violence, you and your family have every right to walk away from the suffering.

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

We aren't in a situation where my mother leaving my father is possible unfortunately. Due to a combination of immigration, language barriers, and my mother's inability to work.

It doesn't involve physical violence. But some of my father's behavior makes me think, increasingly, that he might have PTSD from his childhood (he grew up in a very poor country with a very abusive father). Of course, given that my father has never seen a psychologist and absolutely refuses, that's just my speculation.

There's never been any physical or sexual violence fortunately.

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Emotional abuse is a completely legitimate form of abuse, anon. And obviously you've cracked the language barrier; is there a counselor or a teacher at school you can trust to talk to about this? Also helplines/KidsHelp phone, if that's available where you are. Also check around for agencies/charities specific to your ethnic community; there has to be some help for you and your mother (Any siblings?) where you can at least get an impartial assessment of what's going on, and they should be able to give you the tools to help yourselves, even if you can't help your father.

You and your family don't have to suffer, anon; try every resource you can find, and I promise you, there's a way out.

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

I no longer live at home.

It's my younger sibling I worry about. Because my father occasionally has "episodes" where, while he doesn't become violent, it is emotionally distressing to my sibling. Neither my sibling nor my mother are willing nor do they want to leave.

I've told them that they're welcome to come to me, if they ever need to. Or I would drop everything in a heartbeat to go to them.

For me father, I will say that he tries. He's trying to do better. And he's certainly better to my little sibling than he was to my older sibling (who hates him) but he'll never go to an outside source to get help. Nor will my mother.

Re: Define "suffer"

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Tough sitch, anon. The only thing I can suggest (as a rando anon on the Internet) is frequent day trips for your younger sibling -- get them out and away from the house as much as possible. Just to take the stress off.

NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Hey anon, if I'm overstepping my boundaries feel free to ignore this - I know you mention later you don't live with your family anymore, but I know there are organizations that exist to help people in immigrant families get out of abusive situations. They might have translators, a hotline, cultural knowledge, etc. It might be worth it to look into that and let your mother/siblings know about it?