case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-08-08 03:42 pm

[ SECRET POST #3139 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3139 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 097 secrets from Secret Submission Post #449.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2015-08-09 08:51 am (UTC)(link)
Regarding the "society having repressed and messed up expectations of sex"...

Yep, for a long time I technically fit the definition of asexual, but it never felt right. It turns out I had internalized a lot of messed up and contradicting expectations about sex.

- I internalized a "sex = bad" message from a very young age. I was eventually able to be more accepting of other people being sexual, but not myself.

- In my mind, sexually desiring someone without permission was a "rude" act even if they didn't know about it. I'd seen so much rhetoric (mostly feminist in nature) about how being into someone sexually, mentally undressing them, etc. was so disrespectful and dehumanizing for them that I would never ever do it.

- At the same time, with all the sex positive rhetoric, I also felt like I "should" enjoy sex. Everybody enjoys sex! It's fun! But then when I would have sex with someone I wasn't very attracted to, and didn't really enjoy it, it would be like, "Well, I must be weird then." I never realized that people don't just magically love sex -- people develop associations with sex, and I was developing negative ones by engaging in meh sex I didn't 100% want (because I still viewed it as somewhat degrading or wrong) because I felt like it was expected of me.

- I also internalized this idea that other people want sex ALL the time. So if I didn't want sex I was disappointing them. Bad misconception to have.

(Anonymous) 2015-08-09 09:33 am (UTC)(link)
+1000