[ SECRET POST #3139 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3139 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 097 secrets from Secret Submission Post #449.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

What you're describing here and calling asexual and autochorissexual is pretty much the definition of what I was told was the acceptable norm of being sexual for women when I was growing up.

It was expected that women didn't what to have sex with anyone, until they met "the one" and then the desire for sex with that man would magically appear. And if they never met that one, they never wanted to have sex with anyone.

So... Perhaps a few decades ago you wouldn't even have to wonder if you were asexual? You'd just think you were normal.

I was considered weird and dirty back when I was a teen, because I had the desire to have sex with many different people and was open about saying it. People were nice about it, but I was regarded as downright bizarre.

So I understand how it is when the current fashionable sexuality isn't yours and others keep judging you. It's really unsettling and there is the urge to find labels and understand why you're different.

But I think lots of people have the same sexuality as you. It's really common.

[(Anonymous)]

It was expected that women didn't what to have sex with anyone, until they met "the one" and then the desire for sex with that man would magically appear. And if they never met that one, they never wanted to have sex with anyone.

What you're describing there is demisexuality. Autochorissexuality isn't really a sexual orientation, but rather a pattern of sexual arousal (finding the idea of sex arousing, but having no interest in doing it)

Part of what often makes asexuality such an easy orientation to live with is the mechanism you're describing there: people tend to assume that you'll change your mind when you meet the right person.

[(Anonymous)]

NA. FWIW, I completely agree. When I was growing up, the vast majority of girls my age didn't ever mention sex or sexual desire. There were girls who went against the grain and did talk about it, but just looking around the room, or at fictional characters, I never really saw a woman who was openly sexual (sexY maybe, or sexually responsive, but not sexual as in sexual desiring). So I was never taught HOW to desire. The message I kept getting over and over was that I wasn't supposed to be sexual.

Then as an older teen, I read a lot of sex-positive feminist writing which taught me how to masturbate and have sexual urges, but not how to have sexual attraction.

I think something about the way societal expectations of female sexuality and sex-positive feminism interact creates an ability to masturbate, but a lack of desire for other people, and a sense of panic or alienation because of that lack of desire.