[ SECRET POST #3146 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3146 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #450.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm terrible with kids and can be pretty awkward in social situations in general. My brother's girlfriend's kid is pretty annoying and often badly behaved. He doesn't know me very well so doesn't bother me personally, but he can hog attention and make the situation awkward by forcing his mom to constantly scold him.

He's only five and his parents' divorce and mother's new relationship must be rough on him. So I definitely don't blame him or anything. I just don't know how to deal with it.

I wish I knew what to do or say to calm him down or even something that might diffuse tension among the grown-ups after a scolding. Now things are often so awkward.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

If you can bring yourself to do it, maybe be nice to him and try to distract him with a book, toy or activity? I agree, he's very young and the divorce has probably turned his world upside down. It's likely at the root of his poor behavior. But honestly, there's not a whole lot you could do to "correct" anything, and your interference would only start a fight, anyway.

So maybe buy a little toy for him and the next time you see him, introduce yourself and try to play. Kids don't know you're awkward and a little bit of attention or something of his own might make a big difference.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I would just try to talk to him about various things, like what's going on in his kindergarten/pre-school, if he has seen this and that movie, how you LOVED Batman too when you were a kid and just in general take interest in what's going on in his life. Also play with him, do puzzles, draw, read stories, whatever he likes to do. If his mother is fine with it, maybe let him play on your phone or something (I have a half-sister that turns 5 in November, and she loves drawing apps for instance.)

Try to keep him engaged, but if he does act out in any way you know is inappropriate I wouldn't actively scold him myself (especially if you don't know him that well) but rather say something like "What does your mommy say about x behaviour?" or "Does your mommy think that's okay?", letting him know that you're not totally cool with it and just bringing it to his attention without really scolding.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I bought him a toy the first time I met him and we played. I do sort of try to bring up things that might interest him. But as I said, while I feel awkward around him, he's not badly behaved towards me.

He just constantly feels the need to be at the center of everyone's attention. And while apparently it got worse after his parents split up, things were bad before that too.

Maybe he feels the need to 'perform' because I, a relative stranger, am there. Or maybe I just catch him at bad times. I'm usually there for dinner, afterwards he pretty much goes straight to bed. I doubt that's his favorite time of day.

Re: OP

[elialshadowpine]

Nope, you pretty much caught the worst time of the day for kids in general, right after waking up from school. I say this having lived with two kids only very slightly older, and from remembering vividly my sister at that age (my parents completely gave up on trying to force her to a bedtime because we were homeschooled, when we got up didn't really matter, and it just Was Not Worth It; I successfully argued into being allowed to stay up later because I was 5yrs old and being told to go to bed at 10pm when she was often staying up until midnight or later... UM, NO... I'd deal with the rest of unfair advantages she got, but that one was a hard line). IDK what it is, but dinner + bedtime were always stressy.

Especially true if he complains about bedtime, and maybe normally gets away with staying up a bit later, but knows he won't because guests are there, and he has to go to bed on time because the parents want "adult time", not kid+ time, with their friend. This is a pretty common thing.