case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-08-18 06:49 pm

[ SECRET POST #3149 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3149 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 071 secrets from Secret Submission Post #450.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sexual compatibilty

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-08-18 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Eh, no - size issues wouldn't even be in my top five.

I'd be more worried about incompatible kinks, or huge discrepancies in sex drives, different stamina's etc.

Re: Sexual compatibilty

(Anonymous) 2015-08-18 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
So...again...talk about things?
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sexual compatibilty

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-08-19 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
Here's the thing, though: you might not know. Especially, you know, if you never had sex.

What you enjoy in practice might be very different from what you imagine you'd like.

Re: Sexual compatibilty

(Anonymous) 2015-08-20 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
Not to mention it most likely will take some time before you realize what it is, especially if you grew up with a conservative family or environment.

Re: Sexual compatibilty

(Anonymous) 2015-08-19 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Talk won't magically reveal if someone's actually selfish in bed.
philstar22: (Default)

Re: Sexual compatibilty

[personal profile] philstar22 2015-08-18 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Yup. I think kinks is something you can talk about. But if, like, they only want sex once a week or less and you want sex once a day, that can be a dealbreaker (depending on whether that is something you can compromise on). And if they just want to do it quick and be done with it and you like to take time and go at it for several hours, you are also going to have problems.

Some things can be talked about. Some things you aren't going to even think about until they come up. And some things can be compromised on, but there are actual incompatibilities that are going to make your sex life miserable if you only find out on your wedding night and you plan on staying married for the rest of your life.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sexual compatibilty

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-08-19 12:12 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah and the tricky thing is that some things take time to find out (like you may have a lot of sex in the first year because you're both still infatuated, but after that discrepancy in drive might really start showing).

Also talking has limits, especially for people who never actually had sex.
philstar22: (Default)

Re: Sexual compatibilty

[personal profile] philstar22 2015-08-19 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
True. And, more importantly I feel than whether or not someone has had sex, whether they've taken the time to think about and explore their own sexuality. Even someone without a lot of experience can know a lot of things about themselves. But if they've never thought about it, talking isn't going to help much.

Also very true about sex drives. And it will really depend on how important sex is to each person, and you can't always know how important sex is to you until you actually start having it. Like, a person who wants sex more frequently may be okay with having it less frequently if sex is lower down on their priorities. But for some people sex is really important. I mean, I know for myself sex frequency is not necessarily something I'll be willing to negotiate too far on because sex is super important to me. But until you've had experience and had some time to think about it, you won't know those things.

Re: Sexual compatibilty

(Anonymous) 2015-08-19 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
It took me quite some time to realize my first partner was incredibly selfish in bed. They claimed they were willing to compromise and try out new things, but once push came into shove they didn't come through. Kinda hard to predict that by talking, especially since they otherwise weren't so selfish.

Now, if we'd been married? Ooooh boy...