[ SECRET POST #3161 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3161 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #452.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I only just got on, sorry for the late reply!

When I think about it, the reason is really two separate things folded into one. One has to do with the fact that as a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be "normal". In particular, I idolized those hackneyed teen media stereotypes. My vision of a "normal teenage girl" was what TV Tropes would call the "alpha bitch" and her "girl posse": pretty, vapid, shallow, and somehow both feared and admired by all 2000+ students in her school. I saw fictional girls aspiring to be that, so I aspired to be that, because all I knew was that I wasn't "normal".

The second part of it is that, looking at myself, I'm not an "alpha". In reality, I hate not being in control. But in fantasy, I get a kick out of the thought of bowing to some superior force. So I guess the appeal is that I get to simulate the experience of what I internalized as "normalcy", in the role of one of the fake, faceless fashion goons whose only goal is to stay in good with their supreme leader. (The submissive thing probably also explains why the fact that Enoby is the opposite of the "preppy blonde cheerleader" archetype doesn't matter.)

Plus, it's not real. I don't have to actually dress in the right "goffik" clothes, listen exclusively to emo bands, or do drugs...not to mention the frivolous cutting. I just have to type things like "oms enoby i no how u fel cuz my parnts wer kild by volsfmort!!!111 ders a gc consert soon we shold go an mosh all nite wile u mak out wiv drako. fuk da preps", and I've pulled it off. Which I guess also ties in with my love of acting: for me it's about being another person in another world, but without having to hide who I am while off-set.

Re: OP

[diet_poison]

that's...actually kind of awesome.

like if it helps you and/or is fun, go you! and that's a good background story.

I definitely went through a phase of wanting to be one of the ~popular girls~ in middle school (I never actually believed myself to be "normal", though, which is probably why I got over that urge after a little bit of exposure) and I remember what it's like to think they were so cool and had it all together. In reality, though, the "alpha bitch/girl posse" dynamic is so unhealthy, and I'm glad I dodged that bullet. |D