fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3168 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3168 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Criminal Minds]

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[Community]

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(Harry Potter, Yu-Gi-Oh)

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[JerryC]

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[J.K. Rowling/Harry Potter]

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[Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance]

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[Hatfields & McCoys]

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[Proof]

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10.

[Brooklyn Nine Nine]

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11.

[Scarlett Johansson]

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12.

[No Escape]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm a camgirl IRL. I sometimes get clients who are into racial humiliation. I just had a client who wanted me to use the n-bomb (he was black if that makes any difference). Now, I feel it's perfectly okay for him to enjoy this kind of humiliation, however I am mega uncomfortable with using that word in any context.

But since he was literally begging me to use it, am I just being irrational for not wanting to say it in this situation? He even offered me a tip and didn't seem to be able to come without it. I just find it so abhorrent.

For the record, I refused and he eventually ended the session.

No. If the n-bomb is a hard limit for it, then that's it. Hell, if they were asking you to call them potato and calling them potato made you uncomfortable, it'd be still okay for you to say no.

That would be a slur for an Irishman.

SA

...I had no idea. Well. I shall remember that, then.

Pretty sure the anon you replied to was being facetious.

I was. It's really hard to tell on the internet, though. Should have used a smilie.

Look on the bright side: maybe IrishHater!Anon will see your post and think you were being serious. Then we'll get treated to them calling the Irish 'potatoes' all the time and we can laugh and laugh.

Poor A_Potato will no-one fulfil his fetish?

Raceplay is a kink. Consenting couples do it all the time. Think of it as an extension of roleplay.

SA

Not that you should or should not, do what makes you comfortable. But there's nothing inherently wrong with it because context matters.

If you're uncomfortable with saying it, it's not irrational for you to not want to do it.

It would only be irrational if you thought it was messed up for HIM to enjoy it and it must mean there was something wrong with him.

I don't think that's a terribly abnormal reaction, even when you realize that it's someone's kink. I don't feel comfortable catering to kinks that are about heavy humiliation or degradation either, even if I realize that it doesn't represent the way I actually feel about any relevant issues related to said kink.

idk it's your right to refuse scenes you aren't comfortable with, and I believe in enforcing that right whenever you feel it's needed for whatever reason you see fit. That's just good practice when it comes to any kind of sex work.

Sex workers, including camgirls, have the same rights to be comfortable in sexual situations that anyone has. If it's uncomfortable enough to you that you would rather forgo the tip and the potential repeat client rather than say it, you don't have any obligation to say it. Whether it's irrational or not makes no difference. Sex is hella irrational, even for professionals.

If you want to work on getting over this issue because you want to be able to cater to clients with this kink, that's a different issue altogether. My advice would be to just remember it's just like another form of roleplay.

You are allowed limits in sex acts as much as the next person. Just cause its a kink doesn't mean you have to do it. One person's ultimate kink is anther person's hard limit, and your clients should respect that.

If you are uncomfortable with something then you don't have to do it.

You're allowed to have limits anon. Just tell them they'll have to find another camgirl for their service request.

You're not being irrational, you're being reasonable.

I guess as a camgirl you might be used to sometimes having to deal with discomforts/squicks to give clients what they want, but here you lost out on income because you had a hard limit. That's okay, even in professional lives we have personal boundaries.

I'm guessing you might be asking if it's okay to feel uncomfortable with using a word that a black person said was okay for you to use, if you're not black, especially if you're white. If you are, I can't answer that, but given how much hate and harm there is around that word, using it in a racial humiliation context no matter why, I think a hell of a lot of people would be nope to the fuck about that. And that's okay.

I know who you aaaaaaare. I also know you're alone in your house.

8)

Unless this is some kind of injoke between you, that is not a cool thing to say.

I think the OP is my girlfriend

...

Which depending on the inflection you choose to read that with makes it much better or much worse.

All I could think reading this is "A job's a job, honey." The word itself isn't magic, you know. The word nigger doesn't create racism. Racism created the word nigger. Let's not get cause and effect backwards here.

"A job's a job, honey."

Y'know, a sex worker would know that better than anyone, so cut the condescension.

We've already established that that isn't the case, though. You can't just say "She knows that a job's a job" when THE PREMISE OF HER QUESTION is that she doesn't. What's the matter with you?

Her premise is very much not that, don't be obtuse.

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