fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3169 ]

[ SECRET POST #3169 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3169 ⌋

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Really, just hearing "skinny bitch" in a song hurts?

I used to be overweight, and I'm thinner now, and I don't even take "skinny bitch" in a song as a real insult. In those songs, it's more like a joke (doesn't Meghan even have a line like "just kidding, you're still perfect?"), and besides, if I want to feel attractive, I can just go look at the approximately 50,000,000 movies, magazines, TV shows, photo shoots, cartoons, paintings, and just random pictures where women with my body type are portrayed as attractive.

Maybe being regularly treated like I was outright disgusting, an example of the very definition of ugly, and even once hearing that sleeping with someone like me would be the equivalent of date rape for a guy, has made me somewhat less sensitive to milder criticism. Just being called a "bitch" with a certain body type barely rates as mean.

Thinner=!thin

See, this kind of argument always annoys me. "It's not as bad as, so what?"

Yes, it's not as bad as the treatment of fat women, but hearing it can still hurt. I'm not trying to start a contest here.

There's also this weird idea that skinny = perfect body. Where does that come from.

But this is pretty much the same as comparing someone using the N-word to someone calling white people crackers. Actually, it is exactly like the backlash seen when someone says one tiny negative thing about white people. Thin people are the ones with privilege in our culture and fat people are the ones who are discriminated against. I don't think it is a good thing to say skinny people are bad, but it isn't remotely comparable to what fat people experience, and given how few songs are positive about fat people, we should be allowed to have this song in spite of one bad line.

Thank you. I'd prefer it if those songs didn't have those lines, but seriously. There is so, so much mainstream stuff putting down fat people, and barely anything positive.

I can't get worked up about "skinny shaming" after having experienced fat shaming. No one yells at me on the street about my weight now (had multiple people do this when I was overweight). I don't see people like me primarily portrayed as the butt of jokes or something for men to be terrified of. Of course not everyone thinks I'm attractive, but no one would say a guy would only sleep with a woman like me if he was drunk, and then wake up to realize she's overweight, making her the equivalent of a date rapist. I can see enough images of people with my body type in the media that I don't have any idea how I'd end up thinking my body makes me unattractive just from one line in a song.

It's not the same because it can be misogynistic either way. Skinny guys don't have to take that kind of shit.

Yeah, this. It's just different flavors of the same body shaming ice cream.

...But I'm not comparing. That is pretty much exactly what I said.

The billions of ads telling everyone they need to lose weight.

The people who constantly talk about how disgusting and ugly fat people are.

The guys who act like dating a fat woman is a hilariously humiliating and disgusting misfortune.

The guys who will date/sleep with a fat woman on the down low, but are too embarrassed to let anyone see them together.

The fact that most actors, actresses, models, and famous people in general are thin.

The way anyone even a little bit overweight in the public eye gets criticized even if their job isn't just to look pretty (Adele, for example).

There's also this weird idea that skinny = perfect body.

I think this is very important. It seems like people who have never been skinny tend to equate skinny with perfect body. Which I kind of understand, in that there tends to be this mentality, even among women who are already skinny, that once all the fat melts off of you an ideal body is waiting underneath. I'm skinny af (5'8" and a size 4 at most), but my waist is still 28" and will probably never be smaller than 27" no matter how fit I get (compared to by size 10 friend whose waist is 24"). That's just my bone structure. Even so, it's probably still easier for me than it is for some skinny women who have very flat butts and/or AA breasts* - especially if they're a little older and the skin isn't quite as elastic as it once was. It's unlikely that those women are looking in the mirror and thinking self-congratulatory thoughts about how hot they are. Some might, and good for them, but many will feel ugly or like they're the last thing a guy is going to want. They may even be looking at heavier girls with a bit of envy. And then to have all these songs and slogans and stuff, insulting them and telling them that they may as well be sexless and stuff? Yeah, I can see how that might hurt.

*For the record, I don't personally think there's anything wrong with tiny breasts or flat butts. Just that they're not considered conventionally ideal.

all these songs and slogans and stuff

Yes, because there is so much of it. Not.

I never said there was as much skinny-shaming stuff out there as there is fat-shaming stuff. But there's certainly enough of it to make some skinny women (usually the ones not blessed with "perfect" skinny bodies) feel like shit about how they look.

Passing along the victimization onto skinny women is not going to help anyone, including overweight women. I'd think that would be simple and obvious.

"overweight" see even that language normalises you the skinny person

Oh fuck off.

Cry moar, really.

IOW you have no actual comeback to that one, unsurprisingly.

But...there is such a thing as overweight, just like there's such a thing as underweight.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-08 16:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-08 22:25 (UTC) - Expand

Try being 100 pounds and 5'7"

Try being 275 pounds and 5'2".

Good luck finding pants! :D

Right? My situation is a bit different- I was 230-240 ish at my highest weight and 4'11", but there's still a lot of the same problems- because you're not allowed to be short and fat at the same time. THE HORROR! I'm basically used to walking on my pants all the freaking time because everything is made for people much taller than me. Even the petite stuff is usually too long.

That being said, I can still usually go into walmart or lane bryant or something and find pants that at least sort of fit, so I realize it's not QUITE the same thing. I'm so sorry the fashion industry sucks, anon.

Yeah, hearing skinny bitch hurts. Especially for those of us who have difficultly gaining weight. I couldn't get into my ideal career because of being underweight and I've had to visit the doctor and nutritionist frequently because I rarely have an appetite and feel sick a lot of times when eating, but I have to eat A LOT to get to just a healthy standard weight. So it's really hard to put on weight when you feel sick of eating all the time.

I mean I understand overweight people also have their own struggles, but being so skinny it effects your life and health is not fun either.

Also if someone is skinny with a healthy weight, why should they get hated on for taking care of themselves? Like oh your a skinny bitch bc you eat healthy and exercise! Shame on you! Why? It just seems so petty and unnecessary.

Also if someone is skinny with a healthy weight, why should they get hated on for taking care of themselves? Like oh your a skinny bitch bc you eat healthy and exercise!

THIS. I also hate the implication that skinny women are either anorexic or just got lucky in the genetic lottery, because that isn't true for probably 90% of the skinny women I know (myself included). Most women who are slim are that way because they exercise and eat healthy - in other words, because they take care of themselves, like you said.

Shove it where it hurts, Anon.

When I was underweight, people would call me anorexic, drop half-eaten sandwiches in front of me at lunch and tell me I needed it, come up behind me and pinch me and then laugh about how they could feel my bones, etc. None of that's as bad as what fat kids get, I know, but it wasn't exactly a great time, either.

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