[ SECRET POST #3170 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3170 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 038 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

OP update

[(Anonymous)]

Since you asked for an update: It was sort of a misunderstanding and sort of not.

I don't want to divulge too much dirty laundry but basically: A little over a month ago when I was having an anxiety attack I ended up bringing up an insecurity I have about our relationship, and I tried to make it clear that I wasn't asking her to change or attacking her, it was my insecurity that I needed to deal with and my problem not hers, but she was hurt by it and felt I was asking her to change/criticizing her anyway which is understandable. At the time she didn't let on to that (probably because afore mentioned anxiety I was dealing with at the time) and didn't bring it up later cause I was generally dealing with some unrelated bad stuff in my life and she didn't want to upset me. I thought it genuinely hadn't bothered her, which in hindsight was pretty stupid of me, because I had known before I said anything that it could upset her and thats why I had been avoiding bringing it up. (this all probably doesn't make sense cause I am leaving out key details but yeah)

So I am still feeling pretty shitty that I hurt her and shitty that I brought it up in the first place and like? like my fear that trying to talk about my problems just ends up upsetting and hurting people around me. I apologized to her and she said she doesn't blame me, but I'm still mad at myself.

And I vented again, sorry. TL;DR: I said a thing but thought it didn't bother her, it did, I feel like an asshole.

Re: OP update

[kitelovesyou]

If you go back and read this: I don't think you did anything really wrong, if I'm reading this right, I know how it is when you want to address an issue in a relationship and the other person takes it as a criticism/attack, even when you say it isn't, because they might feel vulnerable/insecure, orrrrr see you as not quite stable/liable to be a loose cannon.

You need to air your issues with the relationship in as respectful and honest and straightforward way you can EVEN if it is unpleasant for her to hear. You matter too, your feelings and issues matter too, better in than out. (The only time you ideally shouldn't is when they or you are in a temporary fragile state, but your feelings and concerns matter!) And I hope she wouldn't do this (my ex did) but DON'T let her block out/dismiss/sideline/minimise your issues/concerns/boundaries with the relationship through making you feel guilty for making her feel crap for hearing them.