fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3172 ]

[ SECRET POST #3172 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3172 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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(Ollie Locke)

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[Forever]

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[Doctor Who]

Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I was going to make a new GC thread about this today and see if I could get any kind of insight that wasn't "omg racist" or maybe some idea of how to get over my issue, but who am I kidding, I'd get the same response to that as I would just saying right here...

I just don't like the look of Asian eyes. They freak me out. I'm sorry, but there it is. I don't know why, and I don't know how not to have that kneejerk reaction. It makes me not want to be around certain people IRL, and it has an influence on what celebrities I like and dislike. Sorry.

You are being racist, whether or not your intention is malicious. You need to learn to get over it, take some responsibility for your irrational aversion to the majority of the human race. Sorry.

'Bout what I expected. You missed the part where I don't know how to get over it. Thanks for pointlessly telling me what I already know.

Sorry, I was in the middle of editing my reply, here it is:

ETA: That was pretty harsh of me, and you want to change it, you're just going to have to get to *know* some Asian people, get to know people with thoughts and feelings like your own, or at least try to watch some shows where this is shown to be the case. People will seem less strange and ugly to you.

I'm white, I grew up with very few Asian people around and the one Chinese kid at school got other cruel kids doing the slanty eyed thing and singing "ching chong", it was gross. Asian people did look very strange to me. Stereotypical racist illustrations of slanty eyes did NOT help. Then when I was 18 I went to Vietnam at a time when there were very few white people. I met lots of great people, saw their lives. I remember on the plane on the way back home that white people looked WEIRD to me, sort of pale and flabby and flat-faced, and it was such a revelation that this stuff was all so relative and could be learned and unlearned.

Edited 2015-09-10 23:52 (UTC)

Well, it's racist and really unpleasant. People can't control what eyes they're born with, and if that's not enough for you to let go of your prejudice then I'm doubtful you're trying very hard.

What do you mean by Asian eyes, and what bothers you about them?

Korean, Japanese, etc., and I don't know what bothers me specifically, as I said already.

I ask because as with every ethnicity, there is a large range of eyes. Some have eyes like Ga-In, others have eyes like Ayumi Hamasaki. Monolids are common but natural double eyelids are not rare, either.

The literal only thing that they have in common is that their eyes are mostly brown.

Possibly seated in unfamiliarity? Id say suck it up and just... Be around people with the eyes you dislike so. Don't spend all your time thinking about their eyes, avoid eye contact if you must and you'll just get used to it. Or get better at hiding your feelings on it. At least you realise your gut instinct is not cool but outright avoiding won't help.

I'm tempted to suggest printouts of eyes plastered all over your wall but we don't want an eye phobia developing at 2am ;p

printouts of eyes plastered all over your wall

I'm lol'ing irl, the mental image ahahaha

Well I hate closeups of bug faces. so much I will recoil from a page I just turned, and then I think "this is stupid".

Pale blue eyes are something I am unfamiliar with and sometimes find really weird looking, but I won't avoid blue eyed people irl and dislike all blue eyed celebrities because of that, because that's fucking rude. Having a thought about something does not mean you have to react to it, especially if you are aware of it.

Don't treat it like a phobia and try to get yourself more exposed. If there aren't many East Asian people in your area, try looking at pictures and videos online. I genuinely hope you learn to get over it, because I have East Asian relatives/friends and knowing that someone freaks out from just looking at their faces is quite upsetting.

That's... actually how a lot of phobias are treated in therapy. I think it's called either exposure therapy or desensitization therapy. Or they might be two different types used for the same thing. Either way, OP might be able to look up those terms and find workbooks or such on the topic, if anon isn't able to afford therapy (and a lot of people in the US can't, even with health care reform; at least in my area, a lot of therapists either don't take insurance or only a very limited number and won't take any that comes from the state, so if you're poor, you can be SOL depending on where you live).

Racist. As. Fuck.

How to get over the issue is to look at more Asians and get used to their eyes. Stuff stops being scary and different as you get familiar with it.

That seems like a really weird thing to be freaked out by.

I don't think "racist" is such a good term to use here.

You're just bothered by the strangeness of it. But that's subjective. I grew up around a broad variety of Far Eastern people, so those different eyelid shapes don't bother me. But there are people from parts of Melanesia, Africa, and India whose faces look really strangely proportioned to me. And there are a few white people who look quite strange, and "untrustworthy" to me. It's not fair, it's just unconscious.

You can get used to it. Maybe watch a show with even just one Asian actor, or something. After a while, you'll be used to it.

What's your reaction to people with Down Syndrome?

Asian here, and... yeah, wow. Not gonna lie, I had issues growing up with white kids making fun of my "ugly, slanty eyes" so this is kind of painful. You're definitely not alone in disliking the way Asian peoples' eyes look, however.

Let me ask you, do you know any Asians personally? My guess is no, due to your phobia, but in my experience, the best way to "get over" racial prejudices is to actually get to know someone of that race. Racial prejudices are based on assuming everyone who belongs to a specific group is alike and somehow bad. If you get to know enough Asians, you'd probably realize a few things:

1) There is no such thing as "Asian eyes", as there is a wide range of eye shapes and even some variance in color.

2) That there's nothing weird or freaky about them, they're just a feature that is maybe slightly different than the ones you're used to seeing. Or are they? Have you examined many non-Asian peoples' eyes? What makes them look "normal" to you?

3) That we're all human and we're far more alike than you might think. People aren't aliens just because they look different, or speak differently, or dress differently, or eat different foods. We all have the same feelings inside, similar motivations and dreams.

I don't really know what else to tell you. You know this phobia is pretty racist and irrational. Can you not talk some sense into yourself, knowing those two things? Perhaps you could consider consuming more TV and movies featuring various Asian groups, and after a while, we wouldn't look so freaky to you.

I can't tell if you are a troll, but if you aren't it sounds like you need therapy, man. And while your phobia may not be rooted in intentional racism, it's incredibly racist to assume that one whole group of people (like the largest race on the planet -Asians) are all similar to one another (e.g. they all have the same eyes)

SMDH at people jumping on anon for calling them "Asian" eyes. What would you all have preferred, "weird squinty"?

There are ways to specify without saying weird or squinty. I assume what you are talking about are how the epicanthal folds are structured, yes?

Not all Asians have epicanthal folds, and some non-Asians do, so it's as odd to call them "Asian eyes" as it is to say "White eyes" and mean blue, like brown-eyed white people don't exist or something.

And not everyone knows what epicanthal folds are. People can have feelings without being able to define them

Something that's actually specific and more useful? Like, have you ever seen Asian on a map. Ever notice that it's a pretty damn big area full of tons of different cultures who do not all look alike? Saying "I don't like Asian eyes" is about as useful as saying "I like European hair". WTF does that mean? It's so vague as to be useless, and it's so generalized that it sounds racist. THAT'S why people are remarking upon it.

Bullshit that you all don't know what they mean. Everyone's just being a dick because it's okay to be a dick to a racist anon, which is fine as long as you admit that's why.

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[ SECRET POST #3172 ]

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