fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3173 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3173 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Detroit Metal City]

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(Gravity Falls, Criminal Minds)

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08. [SPOILERS for X-Files (new series)]

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09. [SPOILERS for Sly Cooper 4: Thieves In Time]

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10. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 2]

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11. [SPOILERS for Steven Universe]

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12. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders]

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13. [WARNING for rape and assault]

[Hockey RPF]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It just makes me shrug, honestly. Because people are reacting to an anonymous person's comment in the moment with just the information the anon has provided. You don't have the same frame of reference as you would with a friend whose life or circumstances you know better. If your friend told you they'd cheated on their spouse and they want advice, for example, your first thought might be that they're a terrible person, but you also know enough about their life to possibly rationalize their behavior and come to enough of an understanding to give them advice without flat out calling them a terrible person. But, if some anon said that here, you are sure to get a slew of you're terribles with no further comment. We are predisposed to throwing out our first impression on the Internet, especially in response to an anonymous commenter.

Edited 2015-09-12 00:36 (UTC)

+1. You phrased it perfectly.

In GC, where we expect people to post confessions anonymously, often things that eat at them but they wouldn't tell their mother, their psychiatrist, or their priest, we should be a little less quick to be dicks to people. Is all I'm saying.

I hear you, but on a comm such as this, one that is minimally moderated and allows anons, that will be unlikely. All the comms that were what I think you're looking for that I've been involved in didn't allow anons and moderated extensively to make sure we were being nice.

Well, we CAN be nice. I've seen it. We just seem to choose not to.

Well, depends on the circumstance, I think. I mean, I know I'm certainly not going to seriously or nicely answer a thread that starts out with "I'm not racist but..."

Edited 2015-09-12 02:18 (UTC)

nayrt

So why are you blaming anons for the tenor of the community?

Here's the thing. The OP is talking about people confessing things in a repentant way. If you start off a racist statement by saying "I'm not a racist, but," you ain't being repentant. You're denying the possibility you're a racist. And I don't think people have to respond nicely to that.

Basically, I think there's a difference between someone saying "I have these thoughts that are kinda racist" or "I'm worried I might be racist because..." and "I'm not racist, but how about those shifty Asian eyes?"

I think we're talking past each other. I'm referring to where fingalsanteater says, basically, that it's the anons who are to blame for people being dicks to each other at F!S--that you can't have a civil community anywhere that anonymous commenting is allowed. Then she goes on to say that she doesn't feel obliged to be civil when someone says something she disapproves of. Coming from a named user, that strikes me as more than a bit hypocritical--especially when there are a handful of named users who are consistently dickish.

I'm not? I'm saying it's easier to say mean things to an anon that it might be if we were all named users, and it's easy to say mean things to anyone on the internet because we are essentially anonymous and faceless unless you've made someone an online friend.

Fair enough, though the impression I got from your comment was that you felt anonymous users are to blame for the lack of civility.

I meant more the anonymity the internet provides than specific anons on FS.

But, being named users in a closer knit community certainly helps with "niceness." (FS isn't particularly close-knit, though it's a bit small.)

It's like I said in my first comment, you're more likely to be more tolerate of a friend's mistakes than a strangers. There's always going to be one or two that are just kinda of dickish, because that's how people are, but someone coming to a comm every day and getting to know the users there is different than interacting with an anon you know nothing about. For example, there are few (past and present) users on FS I know outside the comm very well - rl well. There are others I know reasonable well (for the internet) through their personal posts on their journals or tumblr. If they made an insensitive or strange post, I would be a million times more tolerant and open to discourse than I would be if an anon said the same thing. One's knowledge of and perceived personal relationship with the commenter will typically elicit a different response.

Edited 2015-09-12 04:10 (UTC)

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