fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3173 ]

[ SECRET POST #3173 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3173 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Detroit Metal City]

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06.

(Gravity Falls, Criminal Minds)

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08. [SPOILERS for X-Files (new series)]

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09. [SPOILERS for Sly Cooper 4: Thieves In Time]

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10. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 2]

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11. [SPOILERS for Steven Universe]

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12. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders]

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13. [WARNING for rape and assault]

[Hockey RPF]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That people can't admit less-than-awesome confessions here (because no one ever makes a mistake or says or thinks or does something shitty and then regrets it, amirite? bad people are always bad and they should feel bad) and try to work on gaining insight or bettering themselves, without people tearing into them and mocking the whole situation so the message gets lost in the lolz.

TBH, a lot of you should feel ashamed, but I don't expect you to.

Are you talking about the "Japanese" thing above? Cause that seems more like a mouth-foaming rant, not a "I want to better myself" thing.

Not necessarily that, but some of the comments to that, alluding to yesterday's post about "Asian eyes", where that anon seemed somewhat remorseful but still got shit for it. Actually, the Japanese thing above is probably also a mockery of that, considering the timing.

It's just a trend I see here from time to time. People are shitty to other people who have done or said something shitty, even when they seem to regret it. At what point do people who fucked up get to learn from their mistakes, if they can't ask for help?

I'm just frustrated.

I guess I missed the remorseful part. There was plenty about how freaky and unattractive Asian eyes are, but the anon didn't seem particularly regretful about it. When that's your opinion of an entire continent of people, getting huffy about people calling it racist is like going on a fire-setting spree and getting huffy over people suggesting that maybe you're an arsonist.

They said in that post that they wanted some idea of how to get over their racism. Some people don't know how not to be racist, and they need help to get past it. We've had threads before about people being ashamed of it because that's how they were raised.

And they got some good advice that involved getting to know more Asian people and learning that people are more than their superficial physical traits. But honestly? That's pretty basic stuff. When you know that some of your ideas about a certain group are racist and not at all rational, it's not rocket science to figure out that you can make something that seems "freaky" to you more "normal" if you confront it rather than avoiding it.

iirc, they pushed back at anyone who called them racist, but were silent when anyone gave helpful suggestions. I'm not particularly inclined to think their post was in the best of faith.

I'm not sure what you're referring to, but I think some of it is that it's not always clear whether it's an LOLI'MSOBAD confession or a "this was a shitty thing of me to do/say/think and I regret it" confession. Generally I assume the latter, but a lot of people seem to assume the former. (And there's been times I realized they were correct.)

NAYRT

Yeah, given the number of I DO WHAT I WANT SO EDGY trolls we have, it's tough to tell which it is sometimes.

It just seems like we give everyone the benefit of the doubt here (mental illness, assault, family trouble, relationship woes, pets, school, you name it), except when it's something racist or sexist or any -ist, in those cases it's mostly "OMG you fucking horrible excuse for a person HDU", no matter if the secret is "lol I hate ____ sorry not sorry" or something that could be a heartfelt cry for help.

I think most of the time it's more people pointing out why the bad thing is bad. And honestly, I'm not sure how else you would really expect people to react.

I'm just frustrated, like I said. I just think that if someone posts something that they admit is racist, a dozen "FU racist" comments underneath is unnecessary, and possibly harmful, since they KNOW they're being racist to begin with, and are probably already feeling shitty about it, which is why they're posting anon in GC.

They didn't say they knew it was racist, in any of the threads the last three days

The one above says "possibly racist". Yesterday it was something like "I know people are gonna call me racist". So sure. They didn't say they KNEW it was racist. But they had a pretty good idea. Let's not split hairs.

No, this is an important hair to split, because those are completely different things to say. Neither of those things conveys the message that they know that it's racist and understand why it's racist, at all. And that's the important thing that people are trying to get across.

In fact, the second one implies that they themselves DON'T believe it's racist, they just know that people are going to call them that.

If they didn't have a feeling it was racist, they wouldn't say "this might be racist."

If the concern of GC was to educate the racist person on why it is racist, people wouldn't say "racist" and leave it at that. My point is that very few people try to help, in whatever way they aim to help.

1. Person posts a comment regarding racism, using the word "racist" IN the post
2. People respond calling person a racist

How does this accomplish anything?

Re: It's troubling

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-12 01:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: It's troubling

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-12 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: It's troubling

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-12 01:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: It's troubling

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-12 01:25 (UTC) - Expand

Are you shaming people for shaming people?

Yes. Are you shaming me for shaming people for shaming people?

IT'S THE CIIIIIIIIIRCLE OF SHAAAAAAAAME
AND IT SHAMES US ALLLLLL
MAKES US CRY AND MOOOOPE
DRIVES US TO GIVE UUUUPP
TILL WE FIND OUR PLAAAAAAACE
ON THE PATH OF SCUUUUUM
IN THE CIRRRRRCLLLLLLE
THE CIRCLE OF SHAAAAAAME

It just makes me shrug, honestly. Because people are reacting to an anonymous person's comment in the moment with just the information the anon has provided. You don't have the same frame of reference as you would with a friend whose life or circumstances you know better. If your friend told you they'd cheated on their spouse and they want advice, for example, your first thought might be that they're a terrible person, but you also know enough about their life to possibly rationalize their behavior and come to enough of an understanding to give them advice without flat out calling them a terrible person. But, if some anon said that here, you are sure to get a slew of you're terribles with no further comment. We are predisposed to throwing out our first impression on the Internet, especially in response to an anonymous commenter.

Edited 2015-09-12 00:36 (UTC)

+1. You phrased it perfectly.

In GC, where we expect people to post confessions anonymously, often things that eat at them but they wouldn't tell their mother, their psychiatrist, or their priest, we should be a little less quick to be dicks to people. Is all I'm saying.

I hear you, but on a comm such as this, one that is minimally moderated and allows anons, that will be unlikely. All the comms that were what I think you're looking for that I've been involved in didn't allow anons and moderated extensively to make sure we were being nice.

Well, we CAN be nice. I've seen it. We just seem to choose not to.

Well, depends on the circumstance, I think. I mean, I know I'm certainly not going to seriously or nicely answer a thread that starts out with "I'm not racist but..."

Edited 2015-09-12 02:18 (UTC)