fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3179 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3179 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Rupaul's Drag Race season 7]

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[Supernatural]

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[20th Century Boys]

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[The Mighty Boosh, Noel Fielding]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 014 secrets from Secret Submission Post #454.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I recently saw some very conservative lady claiming that when a woman yells at a man or just gets angry, he sees her as being a man, and therefore he loses any desire to not hit her just because she's a woman. The quote was something like "when you're angry and yelling, and your husband threatens you, he's actually pleading with you to calm down so he can keep himself from being violent and killing you/putting you in the hospital." Then some people suggested that it's okay to express displeasure to a man as long as you do it in a pouty and submissive way so he doesn't forget you're a woman.

This sounds extreme, but it isn't the first time I've seen something like this. Be submissive and do whatever your husband wants because don't you know he COULD beat the crap out of you whenever he's mad? And you should be thanking him constantly for not doing that.

As a kid, my father usually acted like I was annoying him just by speaking, and often seemed like he was just barely controlling himself from being violent (even recently, I went over to show him my shoes, not knowing he was in a bad mood and he just jabbed his elbow at me like a warning and sort of growled that I should know what I did to make him mad - but OF COURSE he wouldn't say what I actually did). It makes me afraid that everything I say is inherently meaningless and annoying, and even though I'm fairly quiet, I feel like I annoy everyone I speak to, to the point that I'm "pushing them too far" if I don't limit it and stay very agreeable. I feel like I can't be in a relationship, because I would have to walk on eggshells around them and would always fear them.

So anyway, are most guys like this? Do you want to punch out everyone who shows anger toward you, whether or not it's justified? Does it annoy you in the extreme when girls talk a lot or yell? Are you usually barely restraining yourself from hurting your girlfriend/wife if she's not a quiet, meek, person?

No, that's insane bullshits

No, that's not normal.

No. That's a really fucking unhealthy way to view both men and relationships. Most men are more than capable of not using violence no matter how angry they are.

is this some dougger shit? 'cause those people diddle their sisters

Whoo, Racist!Anon strikes again!!!

Yeah this "one time one person said a thing, therefore are all people this thing?????? omg" thing is getting really obvious and repetitive

Racist??

Racist? Where did they even mention race?

Racist!anon is the term that AYRT has decided to use for a hypothetical anon who tries to ask extremely controversial questions in a seemingly neutral

So-called because of the string of posts over a couple days that were basically "I'm not racist but [something extremely racist]"

Nope, sounds like bullshit to me. The lady in question is making weak excuses for men who yell at their wives, like ooh, when he's screaming at me what he's REALLY doing is trying to calm me down so he doesn't have to kill me, what a hero!

Of course most guys aren't barely restrained homicidal maniacs beneath their surface. Do you really have to ask that?

As a certified dude (filed and monitored) I think I can speak with some authority when I say that's fucking ridiculous. It paints men as being little more than barely controlled beasts who can't keep their hands (or dicks) to themselves and women should be as demure and unthreatening as possible. I refuse to accept that. That's the kind of logic that excuses domestic violence and rape. It's insulting and it's wrong.

Your dad sounds like a real shit, by the way.

+10000000

Well said. Completely agreed.

This. 100%.

it's total blame the victim bullshit and that woman should be ashamed of herself

No, no, no, depends on the kind of yelling (*), no.

(*) "That's so cool!" is totally cool.

Not a guy but I know what you're saying. Some guys get really testy really fast for no apparent reason and they make me feel like just existing near them is enough to set them off. These are the types of men to avoid. (I avoid women who act this way as well because who wants to be around anyone like that?)

Also, it sounds like your dad has some real anger or mood issues and it's understandable how growing up around someone like that could make you leery and mistrustful.

This is not normal behavior. Well, it shouldn't be.

It's not your fault if a man loses control.

And your dad is a piece of work, and maybe wants you out of his life for some reason.

This is not a "men" question. This is a "people with anger problems" question.

And no, you should not be held responsible for someone's inability to appropriately deal with their own anger.

[ SECRET POST #3179 ]

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