There are SO many morbidly hilarious moments in this show, but I have an extreme fondness for

Alana: (Quietly) "Where's Jack?"
Hannibal: (Whispers) "The pantry."

That scene was so terrifying and tense and yet that one line never fails to make me laugh because the delivery was superb. (Bedelia also had a ton of them in S3. She was burning Will left and right.)


Justified had a ton as well, but pretty much everything by Tim Gutterson is gold. (Also Boyd, but that's a given.)

Tim: "You're not going to try to go out the window or anything while I'm gone?"
Raylan: "No. Not right now, I'm beat. Plus you got your car here, even if I got a jump on you, you'd be right behind me."
Tim: "But you will eventually."
Raylan: "Eventually, yes."
Tim: "Yes, why would you do that?"
Raylan: "Well I gotta talk to some people... alone. So either you let me go or I'm gonna have to give you the slip."
Tim: "I love this shit, this shit makes me hard."
Raylan: "Well then we've both been warned."

also

Raylan Givens: "Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in a garden of assholes."