fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3189 ]

[ SECRET POST #3189 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3189 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #455.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ugh I don't get this "don't talk about fandom outside of the internet or it's cringey and weird and I judge you" bullshit.

Look if you find it so embarrassing that you feel like you shouldn't talk about fandom outside the internet, that's your problem. I don't give a fuck about some arbitrary rule about what I'm allowed to admit about my hobbies.

I sometimes talk a bit about stuff I like with people, things I enjoy, current events or whatever. I don't go into detail about awkward things like ships and smutfic, but I don't see why discussing media I love is somehow abnormal and weird.

but I don't see why discussing media I love is somehow abnormal and weird.

I don't understand that either, though I don't think that's what OP is saying. (I wonder if the fic in question was smut fic, or if the writing group had any rules about what they could submit for critique. I can understand not being a fan, but unless the person in question 'broke the rules' then...*shrugs*.)

As far as 'talking about media in public', unless you are bringing fandom up constantly, into topics that are not even remotely related then I don't see the problem. People generally enjoy talking about what they like...if that piece of media is something you're passionate about it only makes sense to me you might want to discuss it.

I wouldn't ask anyone (outside of fandom, obviously) fandom specific questions unless I knew they were interested in the fandom itself (and maybe not even then; it would depend on the person and our relationship), but people should do what makes them happy.

"I wonder if the fic in question was smut fic"

That's one of the only reasons why I would understand this kneejerk rule of not bringing up a fanfiction with a writing group.

If it's a writing group to just work on writing I don't see why a fanfic is automatically bad. I mean if there was no one who knew the fandom, that might be embarrassing, but that doesn't mean it's bad to ask.

Honestly if someone brought up a (non smut) fic with a writing group that would tell me that they want their fic to be the best it can be, which IMO is admirable.

Come on, don't act like people that aren't involved in fandoms at all aren't massively judgmental and weirded out by outward expressions of fandom. I'm part of a writing club myself, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that if someone came in with a story about Sherlock and John, Specifically from the Modern-Day BBC Program, Kissing Each Other, the poor sap would get a reception of hard stares and stifled laughter.

It's simply a reality that fandom and ficwriting is seen by the majority as immature. Of course that's not true, but you're not going to have much luck convincing people. And that's why it pings so hard on the secondhand embarrassment, 'cause you know the love they're coming into it with and it's immediately denigrated and turned into a joke. Likely, a lot of us have been burned by that before, so of course it's embarrassing to see it happen to someone else.

"Come on, don't act like people that aren't involved in fandoms at all aren't massively judgmental and weirded out by outward expressions of fandom."

Oh they are. I just think it's stupid to be judgmental at least.

It's one thing to be sympathetic to their situations. But it's another when people are going "Ugh, they shouldn't do that, Fandom should be kept to fandom". That's honestly what I see a lot.

That's not what secondhand embarrassment is, though. The secondhand embarrassment comes from putting yourself in the other person's shoes and imagining the feelings they're going through when they're stared/laughed at, and inwardly being like "yep, not something I'd do myself, 'cause geeeeez."

They can do whatever they like, and more power to them if it doesn't bother them (though, in my experience, it almost always does-- or they're so socially unaware that they don't notice in the first place), but it makes me cringe real hard.

This. This exactly.

And I'm not even someone who keeps my fannish stuff a secret; my friends all know it's a thing I'm into. But I tend not to bring it up all that much, and when I do I play it casual, because I know that the more earnest and passionate I am about it the more I'll be making everyone uncomfortable.

I would pretty much never ask anyone outside of fandom to read my fanfic, let alone spring it on people in a writing circle. *shudders*

Yea, I could see how it might be bad if they brought slash and there were homophobic people in their group, but say gen fic for a tv show... I don't see what's so terrible or embarrassing about that. What if it was casefic? (Apparently it wasn't, but I don't see what the problem with that would be.)

I know there are people who automatically cringe at anything involving fandom IRL, and there's not much you can do about that, but it sounds like they honestly wanted critique on their work. Good for them for having the courage to bring it.

And the badness would be the other people's homophobia, not the fan.

Yea, the fan wouldn't have anything to be ashamed of, but if the people in their group were total asshats about it then they should find a new group.

Which would be an inconvenience, but would be better in the long run. Why hang out with unpleasant people if you aren't being forced to?

Bringing fic to a writing group is inappropriate because that's not what most writing groups are for. They're meant for workshopping original writing, generally with an eye towards publication - the purpose is more craft than hobby. Most members of most writing groups would be annoyed if you brought in your fanfic for workshopping, because you'd be wasting their time. (And yours - critique that works for an original short story often won't work for fanfic, because fanfic has its own conventions and culture and relies on a lot of shortcuts that won't fly in original works.)

There are fandom-centric and fandom-friendly writing groups out there, but they advertise themselves as such. If you want to polish your fic, find one, or find a beta - don't go into a standard writing group and expect them to be happy to beta for you, any more than you'd go into a con panel on horror movies and start discussing Sailor Moon.

For me I wouldn't say everything IRL is a no go for fandom conversation (afterall there are things like conventions and clubs for these things) but there ARE certain places and situations where I find bringing fandom in inappropriate.

But I also think there's a difference between fandom and just talking about a thing you enjoy. Like there's a difference between asking someone if they saw the latest episode of Sherlock and asking them to read your 300 page fic .

Op's example could be slightly embarrassing, like bringing in fic to a group where you know everyone is cool with it is one thing, but bringing it to a group where we know at least one person finds it weird is another.

I dunno, (so long as it isn't smut) a writing group seems like the right place to ask for advice about or bring up a fic, which is a piece of writing.

If I really wanted their feedback on a peice I'd ask somebody in a writing group (maybe not show everyone but just ask if one person was interested and willing to help), and I really wouldn't give a shit if ONE person thought I was weird and embarrassing for it. That's their own problem.

I mean it would be one thing to out the person who was trying to hide it or didn't feel comfortable admitting to it. But to just ask for yourself or your own fic? Yeah, I'm not going to let their feelings of shame about fandom dictate my choices.

If they have a problem with me, they can just get the fuck over themselves. Of course this is under the assumption that the person bringing it up in a writing group actually genuinely wants help and they don't just want to ramble about their fic and take up the group's time.

Wouldn't it be an issue to bring it to a writing group when you don't know if people like said fandom though?

That's the one thing I can think of outside of someone being embarrassed about it, it's one thing to bring a fic to people you KNOW are in the fandom but how is someone supposed to critique something when they don't even know what they're critiquing?

Bringing it up to one person would not really be the same to me as bringing it to the whole group either, because it wouldn't interrupt the group that way.

Fanworks often thrive in the intersection between amazing original stories and personal sexual fantasies. Parts of fandom, especially on anonymous websites, allows the border between those two to be eased away and that is a good thing there. But in most other places that border is very much intact, so when you bring your anonymous website culture to other, non-anonymised social cultures, you will naturally be met with stunned silence when it's basically your sexual fantasies you bring out in the open. It's a social etiquette blunder and embarrassment is a very natural reaction to it. Compare it to show up naked at your writing circle: it is off topic and TMI if your circle isn't very much into performance also.

I specified that smutfic is an exception and should not be brought up in public for TMI reasons.

Smutfic, shipfic and some headcanons and kinkstuffs are TMI. But that's not all fandom is. And fandom that isn't that isn't automatically "TMI" and "inappropriate" and an "offlimits topic" or at ALL comparable to showing up naked somewhere.

NAYRT

For me I wouldn't care if it were the author's original take on Sherlock and Watson or something but if it's "hurt comfort slashfic of BBC Sherlock" which expects everyone to A) know BBC Sherlock B) be up for reading gay versions of the characters C) into hurt comfort it's stretching what can be reasonably expected to be general knowledge

Fucking this.

+10000

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[ SECRET POST #3189 ]

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