case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-09-27 03:39 pm

[ SECRET POST #3189 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3189 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #455.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
kitelovesyou: butterfly scales (Default)

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

[personal profile] kitelovesyou 2015-09-27 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Definitely don't think there should be a double standard.

I mean, sometimes or often guys *are* being creepy, the way they phrase it is douchey and over-entitled and they come off as acting like that woman is just brainless fuckmeat who they *deserve* by dint of having a dick. And there are a lot of spaces on the net where this sort of talk goes on, and there's the sense that it's just the proper order of things, because it reflects a prevailing idea about men's sexuality vs women's.

Whereas this is rarely (but sometimes) true for women ogling dudes. It tends to be more self-consciously "naughty", because it's considered slutty/dirtybadwrong in wider social context, not a badge of gender pride/prowess.

But most people find someone hot and wanna drool over them and say dat ass! and what's wrong with that? Men who aren't being creepy about finding women hot should be encouraged! I guess I've come across that pushback myself, because I like to ogle women, and some women are all like, ew, objectification!

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

(Anonymous) 2015-09-28 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Sure, I pretty much agree with all that.

I think maybe where it falls down is that I think it's incredibly tricky to find a way to express attraction to women that won't be considered creepy (in this specific subset of the Internet). I don't see a way to do that. Now, again, this is something that I have issues with & maybe I'm just writing my own problems onto the broader internet. But it seems to me, maybe, that's where the structure you're talking about does not quite extend. And that's pretty much all I mean.
kitelovesyou: butterfly scales (Default)

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

[personal profile] kitelovesyou 2015-09-28 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah you know, that's true. I think some of it is women often not wanting to give men the benefit of the doubt because of other negative experiences (plus, being given the message that men are always sexually predatory). But how do things change then? I think there needs to be less of a divide in how women and men talk about sex, and with each other! Perhaps a bit more trust, where a dude in a community is obviously a decent person in other ways.

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

(Anonymous) 2015-09-28 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
The fuck. Women are exactly as capable as men of being creepy and disgustingly obsessive with people they'd like to fuck. Just because they aren't seen as much as a threat as men who act the same way doesn't make them any less creepy.
kitelovesyou: butterfly scales (Default)

Re: Unpopular Opinions Thread

[personal profile] kitelovesyou 2015-09-28 09:00 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah and where did what I say contradict that? *crickets* I'm a lesbian and I've had experiences with predatory women, I know that shit.

In terms of culture online, there are a lot of creepy men, which is why when a guy in a women-majority type online space says he finds a woman hot, he often doesn't get given the benefit of the doubt. None of that contradicts the fact that there are some fucking creepy-ass women out there though they are ~usually not so mind-bogglingly entitled as to commit date rape irl. Schrodinger's Rapist alarm bells don't go off as much for them.