fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3191 ]

[ SECRET POST #3191 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3191 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #456.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I'm in my mid-40s and I'm pretty outspoken about it in namespace. The more older people are visible and proud of it, the less traction that idiotic "fandom is a ~safe space~ for teens only, old people get out EEWWW" bullshit can get.

There are a lot of us. Like, a LOT. In some fandoms, 25+ people are a strong majority. In almost all fandoms (except maybe the ones really aimed at kids), we're everywhere.

I witnessed some wank re: "fandom is a safe space for teens!" a while ago and the whole thing felt idiotic because WHY would you ever consider the very large and very scary internet a safe space.

When I was a teen I was dumb too and did find "old" people in fandom weird but I also never considered fandom my safe space. It was my space to be weird, yes, but I was also uber paranoid about keeping my information private and locked to only my friends who were around the same age.

These teens rant on public social media about how fandom is their safe space which is weird to me because if you want to be safe, you need to lock your twitter/tumblr/instagram/whathaveyou. Otherwise it is the opposite of safe and is out there for everyone to see.

I think they think they can be "safe" by driving all the people they perceive to be potentially creepy away. Which, hahahahha, NO. But they're just kids, they don't know any better. They'll learn. Hopefully not the really hard way.

I'm so old the internet as we know it didn't even exist when I was a teenager. But I definitely remember a time when it was considered good common sense to NEVER put personal info on the internet, and to use locked services whenever possible. I don't know about twitter, but it isn't even possible to lock Tumblr posts or accounts. (I really miss that feature about LJ and DW.) Everything you put on Tumblr is available for absolutely anyone to look at - even if you block people, all they have to do to see your blog is to log out.

you can absolutely lock your twitter. i assume twitter is used by people who just want to communicate with family and friends, like facebook, more so than that wasteland called tumblr.

Well yeah that is sadly what they think, they think if they tell people to GTFO that the person will just... go. But that's not how the world works.

I was a teen when there was still that massive paranoia about the internet and I'm kind of glad there was. I did my share of stupid online but it was all under aliases and no one knew my name or what I looked like. I'm so glad I wasn't a teen when youtube videos could go viral.

And actually you can lock tumblr posts by password protecting them, it's a little more of a pain then lj/dw where you can just have a friends list, but I've seen people do it here and there. You can also just make posts private if you don't want anyone to see it.

Well yeah that is sadly what they think, they think if they tell people to GTFO that the person will just... go. But that's not how the world works.

Well, they can stomp their little feet and slam their bedroom door all they like, but I'm not going anywhere. :)

I'm so glad I wasn't a teen when youtube videos could go viral.

*Nods* I remain thankful as fuck that Twitter and Facebook didn't exist when I was a kid. So, so thankful.

Oh, I wish it was only teenagers. The number of adults I have seen trying to designate open forums as their personal safe space because they consider the site in question to be frequented by only the 'right' kind of people is truly depressing.

Agreed. If I ever was going to give out personal information, I always let my parents know and had them kinda suss things out a bit, too. But I think I only ever did that, like, once, when I was a teenager. Maybe twice. And fortunately, nothing bad happened.

Otherwise, yeah, I just heard so many horror stories about those sorts of situations going very badly, to where I remained very cautious about the personal information I shared online. Even now, as an adult, I still take precautions. It is a bit weird to me how much more open younger fans seem to be with sharing all their personal info online nowadays.

Helicopter parents.

Well, I mean, they've been raised to see no shame in a lot of the things us older fans were raised to be embarrassed about, like diverse sexuality, alternative religion, and being fannish. Since almost everyone is online now, you have as many people you see everyday in RL to talk to online as you do strangers. When us older people were teenagers, most of the people we met online were total strangers.

But they're also used to the idea that the government is spying on them, their school is spying on them, if they have a job, their job is spying on them,their parents are constantly hovering, they grew up overscheduled and driven everywhere and they don't make friends with people whose parents their mom doesn't know. They didn't go the park by themselves, they didn't go to the mall alone...

The other day, I went to an event, and there was a playground nearbye. While the kids were playing, the adults were standing around...watching them. Not sitting and reading a book five hundred feet away, standing right there by the equipment, not letting those kids out of their sight for one second. Even playtime in the fresh air is a deadly serious task during which you are not free from your parents.

So no wonder they have no street smarts.

It's kind of ironic, isn't it? And yet, it makes perfect sense, too-it's basic human behavior at work. The more intrusive/restrictive parents are about their kids' behavior and activities, the more likely their kids will be to want to "rebel" somehow.

And you make a good point, too, that the people you talk to online are people you see in real life, too, and that factoring into the overshare thing. Hell, we've all seen the scenario of teens texting each other while they're sitting right next to each other. I think that also speaks to how much more comfortable people are opening up online instead of face to face for various reasons nowadays.

But yeah, I completely agree that sometimes kids do need some opportunity to be alone and learn their way around without all those protective setups in place. Your thing about the parents is...wow. I remember my parents occasionally looking out the window if my sister and I were playing outside, and if we were at the park they were close enough to keep an eye on us...but they sure as hell didn't hover. And I could walk to a friend's place without constant parental supervision.

The media certainly doesn't help ease the helicopter parent phenomenon, either. Obviously there are scary people and situations out there to keep abreast of, sure, but the media nowadays makes it seem like everywhere you turn, danger is lurking around the next corner!

(And then, of course, we're so distracted by THOSE unlikely dangers that we don't pay close enough attention to the legit, realistic ones.)

"But they're also used to the idea that the government is spying on them, their school is spying on them, if they have a job, their job is spying on them,their parents are constantly hovering, they grew up overscheduled and driven everywhere and they don't make friends with people whose parents their mom doesn't know. They didn't go the park by themselves, they didn't go to the mall alone..."

I don't know that I agree with that. On another forum where I am at, someone threw a fit because their father wanted to be able to check the teen's cellphone to make sure that nothing untoward was happening. (And considering how much trouble kids can get into with sexting, I don't know that it is that bad of a concept.) And pretty much everyone supported that person and said not only that it wasn't okay for the father to be able to check the teen's phone, but that he was abusive for doing so. They all seemed to be teens or young adults talking, so I wouldn't say they are so used to everyone spying on them that they don't care about it.

I don't know that I entirely give you the playground thing either. I am one of those people who hovers by the playground ~~(I'm petrified of heights, so I really can't hang back when they're on the high equipment)~~ but there are so many kids whose parents don't watch them at all and who are climbing all over the tops of slides and mowing down younger children and the like.

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[ SECRET POST #3191 ]

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