[ SECRET POST #3209 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3209 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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04. [WARNING for incest]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #459.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

They sound ridiculous, that's why. It's an unnecessarily complication of a relatively simple matter. Either use the damn character names, or just plain "he/she/they said", or chill and realize that most people can follow a basic conversation if it's written coherently and you really don't need to mark out every single time someone is speaking. Otherwise, you clutter up paragraphs going:

"What do you want to do for dinner?" asked Steve.

Tony looked up from his tablet. "Let's get falafel."

"But we had falafel yesterday," objected the tall blond. "Let's get something else."

"But falafel is good!" said the man with the stupid goatee.

"I'm not saying falafel isn't good, I'm just saying that we had it yesterday. I'm kind of in the mood for a burger, to be honest," said the tall blond.

"My doctor said I had to cut back on red meat." The man with the stupid goatee shrugged apologetically.

"Why not try the grilled chicken burger, then?" suggested the tall blond.

"Don't be absurd, grilled chicken isn't a burger, it's... grilled chicken. It takes all the fun out of eating a burger," said the man with the stupid goatee.

etc.

etc.

etc.

[naemi.livejournal.com]

This must be like one of the worst conversations I ever had the dubious pleasure to read =D

[(Anonymous)]

/takes a modest bow

Thank you!

[naemi.livejournal.com]

Good job! Very good job indeed! =)

[iambecomebees]

"The talll blond..." So Thor walked into the room? That's another problem with epiphets.

Also when you do dialog tags it's actually "the tall blond said," and not "said the tall blond." You wouldn't say "said he" instead of "he said."

[vethica]

Hm? I've never heard this rule before. Both constructions sound fine to me.

[iambecomebees]

You'd really write "I'm going to the store for bread," said he?

I wouldn't call it a rule, it just sounds odd in modern prose.

[vethica]

No, not that - the other one. "I'm going to the store for bread," said Jeff vs. "I'm going to the store for bread," Jeff said. I think both orders are okay.

[iambecomebees]

Yes, but my point is that unless you're going to always use proper nouns, you're not always going to be using it both ways. The POINT of a pronoun is as a substitute for a proper noun and if you can't copypaste the appropriate pronoun right in, there's something odd with your sentence.

[vethica]

We're going to have to disagree on this one.

[(Anonymous)]

Huh? Both constructs are fine.

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

Would you even need the "said" clauses after each dialog sentence? Why not


"What do you want to do for dinner?" asked Steve.

Tony looked up from his tablet. "Let's get falafel."

"But we had falafel yesterday. Let's get something else."

"But falafel is good!"

"I'm not saying falafel isn't good, I'm just saying that we had it yesterday. I'm kind of in the mood for a burger, to be honest,"

"My doctor said I had to cut back on red meat."

"Why not try the grilled chicken burger, then?"

"Don't be absurd, grilled chicken isn't a burger, it's... grilled chicken. It takes all the fun out of eating a burger."

....

Quality of conversation aside, unless the reader is unusually dense they can figure out who's talking from context alone.

[ketita]

My only caveat would be that you do want to break things up with a name/hint every so often, just because readers can actually lose track of the dialogue if it goes on too long with these exchanges. Tossing in a "complained Tony" or something after a while helps keep things straight.
But definitely not necessary to overuse the "said"s.