fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3209 ]

[ SECRET POST #3209 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3209 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04. [WARNING for incest]

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #459.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

got called away for some bs, so addressing everything now...

Always had a good relationship with this person. No reason to assume they'd lie to put me down. It's an art thing. It's one of many recent failures, not only in said art field, but other hobbies and life in general. I am not jumping to conclusions by saying I suck at everything. I don't enjoy failing repeatedly as a hobby, generally speaking. It's only fun if I can figure out how to successfully do the thing. I'm not giving up at one try. I'm fucking screwing it up every single time. I know I have to get better. I'm not getting better. Thanks for telling me I'm overreacting, though, that really helped a bunch.

but if it's just a hobby you shouldn't have to be perfect at it. hobbies are just activities you do for fun to pass time and de-stress. it's not meant to be a job.

op

I can't de-stress by continually screwing things up. Maybe other people can, but I can't. It causes me anxiety. I'm not aiming for perfection. I just want things to WORK. Complete failure is not fun.

You're not failing, though. You're just not a master yet. It takes more practice.

People telling you that you're overreacting are trying to reassure you, in a way. What exactly were you expecting or wanting as a response? Agreement?

"You're overreacting" is so far from reassuring.

It is when it's "you're overreacting by believing yourself to be a failure at everything." What do you want from people? Did you want people to say, "Oh yeah, I agree, sounds like you totally suck at all the hobbies ever, no point in trying"?

Okay, but here's the thing... sometimes even people who like you can say awfully discouraging things with the best intentions. They shouldn't, but they do. If it's art, have you taken any formal classes in it? Have you thought about concrete ways in which you could improve and how you could pursue those ways?

Also, most of the thread was very thoughtful advice/questions given the sparse information you provided, so I'm not sure why you're being pissy about it. If you're determined to just throw up your hands and declare everything in your life a failure, then that's unfortunate but the internet strangers here don't have to agree that it's really that hopeless.

op, i think your issue is more overarching than just "i keep failing at this art."

i think it's about your thinking, and the way you're perceiving the world.

consider this: almost every single person in this thread has told you that you are overreacting a bit and beating yourself up too much. that you not being good at a hobby DOES NOT mean bad at all the hobbies forever and ever until the end of time, amen.

you then respond that everyone else must be wrong.

do you see what's happening here? you're clinging to this idea that your perception of yourself (as an absolute failure) is correct, even to evidence to the contrary.

what if you are wrong, OP? and by wrong, i don't mean broken or bad or a failure. by wrong, i mean, what if you are making a logical and emotional error in your thinking?

what if you're not that bad? okay, say this person is correct that your art isn't good. that just means it's not good NOW. that says NOTHING about your future. is this person psychic? are you pyschic? no?

then it's entirely possible for you to improve with progress. everyone can do this. that includes you.

OP, i wish i could find you the quote about "the gap". it discusses how many artists experience a gap between their skills, and their appreciation of art. and it takes a long time and many failures to close that gap. improvement isn't overnight.

you need to give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up over it. and you need to challenge that critical voice in your head that is telling you you're failure. otherwise you never WILL make art.

the fear of never attempting in the first place should be scarier than the fear of making mistakes.

+1

I've been really good at the failure self-talk that goes along with a kind of rotten pride, and this ^^^^ is excellent advice.

Yep, this. OP is "overreacting" in the sense that because they're depressed, things look a lot worse to them than they actually are. OP is only able to see the worst scenario, even if it's not really in keeping with reality. That's the overreaction, and while it might annoy them that people keep pointing it out, well, it's true.

" Thanks for telling me I'm overreacting, though, that really helped a bunch."

I get that you're upset and frustrated, but this is not a helpful attitude for anyone to have.

There is no such thing as perfection. If you strive for that, then you'll never be satisfied.

I'm beginning to suspect your reliable relative is tired of seeing you be miserable at something you supposedly enjoy. It's not about the art, it's about the hell you're putting yourself through in trying to achieve "the" desired result.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3209 ]

op

Re: op

Re: op

I know how you feel.

Re: op

Re: op

Re: op

Re: op

Re: op

Re: op

Re: op

Re: op