fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3223 ]

[ SECRET POST #3223 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3223 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 050 secrets from Secret Submission Post #461.
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I'm writing this thing that involves food play with honey. It was originally just going to be oral, but I started wondering if maybe honey would work as lube. I thought probably no because of the sticky, but some googling brings up mixed results. Some people seem to have used it successfully?

Is this a really horrible idea, or could it possibly work?

It's a terrible, awful, no good, very bad idea.

For one, honey is sticky, and that's the last thing you want lube to be. For another, honey is sugar. Sugar is bacteria food. You don't want to put sugar anywhere near your genitals, because it can cause yeast infections. And no, this isn't a problem with only the female-bodied. The anus is just as prone to yeast as the vagina and vulva.

If you want to use a food item as lube, stay with stuff like cooking oil or olive oil.

Its for a fandom where cooking oil doesn't really exist and I'm not sure olives exist. I do tend to use oil for lube for the fandom, I was just thinking since the honey is already being used in the fic the characters may consider trying it. Magical characters, so infection isn't a problem. And the bottom is a bit of a masochist, so a little pain wouldn't bother him.

Then go for it, if you're writing for a fandom where those things aren't an issue. I tend to assume the mundane rules of human biology apply, so the thought of honey as lube to me is 40 levels of "AW HELL NO!"

Okay, cool. Sorry, I wasn't more specific. I was more wondering about if there would be so much friction that it would cause a lot of pain and possibly physical damage. Because I don't think the bottom would be down for that.

If you use enough, probably not. But you'll probably need to reapply it a LOT, and that may end up being more trouble than it's worth.

If you don't mind my asking, how can honey exist in this fandom when cooking oil doesn't?

I don't know what exactly exists. They don't have stoves or things like that (it is a quasi-medieval fantasy fandom). Oil does exist, I think, though I'm not sure if explicitly cooking oil does or not. Olives definitely don't exist. Honey-cakes were mentioned in canon, so honey is something that exits. I was thinking chocolate originally, but that is definitely not something that would exist in the fandom.

What fandom is it?

Tolkien's Middle Earth.

Gotcha. In that case, I don't think using food items would be feasible anyway. It's one of the few things Tolkien sadly neglected; there are maybe eight or so items of food and drink mentioned in the books, and it really depends where the characters are, too.

I highly doubt the Elves would've had cooking oil, but I don't think it's too farfetched to assume Hobbits would, especially since of all races they're the ones obsessed with food. I'd still play it safe and stick with oil.

I don't think it is farfetched for Elves to have oil. Despite the implication in AUJ, Elves do eat meat and they are bound to eat plenty of nuts too. A lot of the oldest oils (things the Real World has had oil from for over 5000 years) are nut and seed-based things. I can easily see Elves working out how to get oil from them. Elves, after all, are portrayed in Tolkien as being the smartest and best-developed race.

Good point, I completely forgot about nut oil!

I really wish Tolkien had talked about things like food more.

Cooking oil would be around. Nut based or animal fats, as I mentioned before.

I was thinking in LotR terms about this, so amusing coincidence there.

Even if modern cooking oils don't exist and olives might not logically be in the region, there is likely to be some oils and/or fats, somewhere. Do they eat meat? Dairy goods? If so, there would be rendered animal fats.

There has got to be something like nuts around too. I just did a check on Wikipedia and some of the oils do say that they have been around for anything up to 5000 years, so a non-technological society can extract oil. Decide what nuts are around or choose an animal fat.

No. If you doubt it, buy a small squeeze bottle of honey somewhere, squirt a glob into the palm of your hand, then rub your hands together. It'll be a godawful mess and it will pick up lint, hair, dust whatever.

Honestly, it'd yank me right out of the fic if honey was used as lube. There's no way it'd be successful in real life, so even with magical characters, I'd just be sitting there like "...ow D:"

Yes, I'm thinking I'm going to stick with oil for lube. Maybe honey scented oil? Not sure if that is a thing. Still want to use the honey for the other bits, though. Can't think of anything else that would likely exist in the fandom that would work for licking off skin.

If you don't mind me asking, is it necessary to go for penetrative sex for this scene? There's plenty that could be done with honey otherwise, haha.

Actually, that's true. Could skip the penetration altogether, it isn't really necessary.

Definitely leaves more doors open for the honey! Have fun with it. :D

On top of all the other issues that have been pointed out, unless your characters are perfectly shaved/waxed everywhere, the pain and mess of honey in pubes would be enough to veto it for me.

I think the general fandom assumption is that they have little to no body hair.

Elves then, especially as you say they're magical. Even if it's the next step up and they're Maiar, Maiar usually wear Elven forms unless they're Istari.

I once read a fic about the dwarves introducing chips to Rivendell, and Ori uses a whole gallon of mallorn nut oil to cook them.

I actually think olives might exist in Gondor and Near Harad. Potatoes and tomatoes were canonically in Middle Earth so there is a hell of a lot of leeway on that front. If you need to explain where it comes from (which I don't expect in porn), trade from Harad coming through Gondor and from the East through Dorwinion and Rhûn can excuse a lot.

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[ SECRET POST #3223 ]

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